Resolving Conflict in Blogland

I thought blogging was supposed to be fun.  It is a way to share our thoughts and our convictions.  It is a way to meet like-minded people and to encourage one another.  I am fully aware of the fact that many people (even those who should be like-minded) disagree.  It seems to me though that if you are not big enough to take a little criticism and to take it with dignity then you should maybe reevaluate your motives.  I do not mind criticism, after all,  healthy discussion brings about growth.  What I do object to is the underhandedness, dirtiness, mean spirited, name calling, slanderous parties out there!

I know that where there is conflict we do not always behave in the best manner.  I have had situations in the past which have risen from disagreements in convictions.  Some I handled well with grace and dignity and others I did not but dealt with them in a rather sinful manner.  In those cases where I did not handle things in a godly manner I have repented, asked for forgiveness from those involved, and done what works I could to make amends.  I have learned that in all cases of conflict I should flee to the Lord and beseech him to grant me wisdom, clarity of heart and mind, and graciousness even amidst difficult conversations.   I am not the best at this but am growing.

Some situations clear up easily and others do not.  Sometimes that is because of differences in personalities, differences in how to resolve issues, differences in convictions and beliefs,  an unwillingness or inability due to insecurity to let others disagree, unrepentant or perceived unrepentant hearts.  All this to say, conflicts arise and they may even be over very important issues but when one takes that conflict and rather than trying to resolve things in a godly manner begin to slander and back stab all the while justifying their actions, that is just plain sinful!  I am currently watching another one of these situations unfold online and it breaks my heart.  I see the godly character of those involved.  I fully realize that I may not be seeing the whole picture and not know everything that each individual is doing but I do see the underhanded vengeful things that are being done to them and know that these actions are not godly.

If you have a disagreement with someone here is a word of advice from one who has been there.  Make sure you are confident enough in your convictions to be ok with the fact that people may and most likely at some point will disagree with you.  Remember it is not your job to change their minds or their hearts; that is up to the Lord.  Most importantly, be willing to hear them, learn from them, and be willing to admit you are wrong!  You just might be!  Try to speak with grace even if you have words that are difficult to hear. There is nothing wrong with speaking boldly but try to have a heart of humility not arrogance.  The other party may not recognize that you are acting from a heart of grace and humility but you still need to make sure that the motives of your heart are godly.  Approach the situation with the idea that others are trying to act from godly motives as well.  They may not be but give them the benefit of the doubt.  Earnestly request wisdom, a clean and pure heart, mind, and speech from the Lord.  It is so easy to get caught up in who is right and who is wrong that you loose sight of behaving in a godly manner.  Do not fall into that trap.  Learn when you have said enough and leave the outcome of changing hearts, minds, and actions to the work of the Holy Spirit.

Pray that the Lord will reveal areas in which you may need to repent concerning the conflict.  Make sure that when you repent of those things that you also ask for forgiveness from the others involved.  Be specific too so they are fully aware of the fact that you acknowledge your part (and what that was) in the conflict and are truly repentant.  This is not necessarily required but it goes a long way to bringing healing, reconciliation, forgiveness, and humility.