“For you that are parents, or to whom the education of children is comitted, I beseech you mind the duty which lies on you. … For to what purpose do we desire them before we have them, rejoice in them when we have them, value them so highly, sympathize with them so tenderly, grieve for their death so excessively, if in the meantime no care be taken what shall become of them to eternity? … If you neglect to instruct them in the way of holiness, will the devil neglect to instruct them in the way of wickedness? No, no, if you will not teach them to pray, he will teach them to curse, swear and lie. If ground be uncultivated, weeds will spring up.”

~ John Flavel

I remember back in the early days of my marriage and motherhood.  We had many young ones very close together.  (we still do)  Our older children are closer in age though than our younger ones.  I remember how busy I was then and how many people when they should have been encouraging a young mother of many instead found it their place to discourage.  I remember very well doing the math and realizing that one day I would have five teen age children at the same time.  So many tried to discourage me by saying things like how they felt so sorry for me, how they were glad they were not me, how they would shoot themselves rather than being in my place, how I would regret having these children, and the open ended “just wait until” comments.

Thankfully, I did not let those comments discourage me.  In fact, I often did and still do feel sorry for those people who did not realize the blessing of children and young adults.  I remember speaking with my husband and saying how we knew it would be different.  Yes, it doesn’t matter how well you parent, you can still have a wayward child.  But, when you are raising your children for the glory of God and being dependent upon him and fully engaged in prayer for your children trusting in the promises of God, there is hope and confidence in who those children will grow to become.

I used to say to myself that I would wait and see when the day came whether those discouragements were valid.  One amazing thing I have discovered in this journey of parenthood is this, if you see your children as blessings that is what they end up being.

Well, we are in the midst of birthday season and I am now the mother of five teen age children and I can easily without reservation say that they are each a blessing!  Not only a blessing but a tremendous blessing!  They do not give me heartache as the naysayers said they would.  I am honored to be their mother!  I am honored that the Lord blessed me with them!  My life is fuller and richer because of them!

Having five teens is not the disaster so many told me it would be.  It is not full of heart ache and grief as many warned.  I still have my hair and it is not white!  I am blessed beyond measure!

So to all those naysayers, I hope you can see that children and young adults truly are a treasure, a blessing, and a gift of the Lord!

Do you ever just feel like a total failure? There are rarely days when I feel that all has gone perfectly, in fact, I can’t even remember the last time that happened. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. My calling in this life is to be a wife and a mother. I am to glorify God through those things yet often times I seem to fail miserably! This calling in my opinion is one of the greatest in life because it holds such eternal consequences!

Other people will see accomplishment and evidence of great work in this area of my life but often times I only see my failings. I know how often we skip our family devotionals. I know how often I loose my temper. I know how often I lack compassion. I know how neglected my Bible reading can be. I know how lacking my prayer life can be at times. I know the things that go through my mind and that occupy my thoughts that are not glorifying or edifying. These are things that others do not see.

I truly feel as if I fail more than I succeed! Yet, I look at my family, I look at my children, I listen to the comments and encouragement of others. I see the hand of God at work! When I receive praise I am keenly aware of the fact that any good is not because of me but in spite of me. I work hard, often not hard enough but it is not my work that accomplishes anything praise worthy. It is the Lord’s work. It is only by his hand, grace, mercy, instruction, and power. It is God who deserves the praise!

I am encouraged by these words:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I often pray that God would do amazing things with our family and these children that he has entrusted to us. That he will do a mighty work in their lives. That they would bring honor and praise to his name. That the Lord would be glorified in their lives. That the Lord would grant me the wisdom, dedication, love, and ability to do all that he has called me to in raising these arrows.  I ask that if anyone is ever led to pray for me that these are things that are lifted up before the Lord on my behalf.

I wish for other mothers to be encouraged to not be discouraged in the daunting yet indescribably rewarding task of raising children for the glory of God!  Remember it is not all dependent upon you.  God will accomplish his purposes.  Just keep praying, keep striving, continue in love and obedience.

Let me leave you with this benediction and may you be encouraged just as these words encourage me:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.  Hebrews 13: 20-21

And remember, be a light to your children and God will do the rest.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  Philippians 2:12-13

We have never really had a problem in our family with jealousy when a new baby arrives. I am thankful for that. Usually we just notice when the children (usually the one who used to be the baby) is needing a little extra cuddles. If we pay attention and meet that need then there is never a problem with jealousy.

My two year old has a new phrase that she uses to let me know she needs some lovin’. She says, “Mommy, I need you,” and she uses the best whiny voice you can imagine. So I pick her us and we cuddle and she is happy again.

Well, this morning she came to me with her, “Mommy, I need you,” cry. I picked her up and she was quiet. Next thing you know she is pulling my shirt out and looking down it! I look at her and say, “Um, what are you doing? Do you need to nurse?” Usually when this happens she smiles and says no and runs off to play. Well, this morning she looks at me with the saddest eyes you have ever seen and says, “Uh huh!” (meaning YES!)

Shocked I asked her again and received the same reply!

I told her I didn’t really think she needed that but that she just needed a hug. She put her arms out and gave a big hug! Then she looks at me and says, “Mommy, I need some juice!” LOL

Maybe she was thirsty after all!!!! HaHa!!

Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

What an encouraging verse and one with a promise. This is something that I have been in need of lately. I have been growing weary. There are just those days that are harder than others and it is easy to loose focus. Being a mom is a tough job and one with so many responsibilities and eternal consequences. There are the days when the children don’t listen and I begin to feel that if I were to disappear no one would even notice. Then a little one will come and give me a hug and I remember that I am here for a purpose. I have simply grown weary.

There are days like this past week when I clean and clean and clean. Even though I removed two big boxes of stuff to throw out and seven trash bags full of stuff to donate I feel as if the house is a wreck and you do not even notice any progress. Rather than seeing the progress amongst the mess I have grown weary.

Mountain climbing is fun and in fact it is one of my favorite activities but for some reason Mount Washmore wearies me more than any other.

When the children continue to be snippy and not on their best behavior if I become discouraged then I begin to feel like a total failure in my parenting abilities. This is the worse. If I grow weary then I begin to focus on myself and what I have or have not accomplished. I should be remembering that it is God alone who can change their hearts.

There are many responsibilities and many things that I need to do to be a good parent but most importantly my job is to rely on the Lord for each and every aspect of being a parent. I am to rely on the Lord for the grace and wisdom to raise these children. I am to rely on the Lord for the outcome. After all, it is the Lord who works in their lives and changes hearts, attitudes, minds, and habits. I am simply one vessel he uses to do accomplish his plans for their lives. When I remember that I am to do all I can but God is the one who is doing the real work it becomes easier and easier to not grow weary. I simply need to be obedient, to continue to do good, and to keep my focus where it belongs. It becomes so much easier to not grow weary.

Take the encouragement this promise offers. In due season we will reap and it will make the difficult days so worth it. Just like in giving birth, the pain seems unbearable but the reward is so worth it!

Praise be to God that he allows us mothers to work so hard and to reap even more abundantly!

I am still not completely sold on the whole cloth diapering idea.  I love the idea and it isn’t really that much more to do but I am still not sure I want the bulk or if I am ready to give up the convenience of disposable. I do think however that if I were to jump in and go all cloth I would prefer the sample that was sent to me over the ones I am borrowing.  The ones I am borrowing are indeed easier than what I grew up with but the sample product I received seems a better fit for us.

The company that sent me the sample is The Willow Store.  You will find the diapering system listed under Sprout Change.  Here is a little background on the Sprout Change system taken from their website.

After years of research, and cloth diapering her children, Catherine Bolden, founder of The Willow Store began with a mission. Dedicated to promoting a more reusable future, she created natural, common sense products that were easy to use, and complimented a more natural lifestyle. In 2005, WillowSprouts was born, and offered organic hemp diapering products to the cloth diapering world. Catherine spent years trying different cloth diapers to find the perfect fit for her son, who has special needs. Each diaper worked well for some things, but nothing gave the perfect combination of fit, absorbency and ease of use, so she created Sprout Change.

Sprout Change came from this need for a better diaper. There’s plenty of cloth diapers out there, and they all pretty much work. Sprout Change is a compilation of all the great things cloth diapers can be. Our system is a hybrid unlike any other that combines pocket diapers, prefolds and all-in-ones to make the least confusing, most economical diaper available…. That anyone can afford.

The shell of the diaper (to replace the traditional plastic pants) are really cute.  They come in several colors and are reversible so you get two colors in one.  This is the one I have.

They are a one size fits all.  The website says that they will fit from 5-40 pounds.  I agree with this assessment.  My newborn can wear them and so can my two year old.  There are snaps on each side. You simply unsnap and adjust the elastic.  It is simple enough that you can resize it in seconds while your baby is wearing it.  They even have a little video on their website if you need help.

The shells can also be reused until soiled.  I didn’t have any problem with leakage.  The shells are also breathable to help fight against diaper rash.

They have different insert options or you could even use the diapers you have on hand.  The insert they sent to me was a super saver insert.  I LOVE the insert!  It is so soft!!  Even after several washes it maintained that ultra soft feel!  These will also fit from baby to toddler.  You simply fold down the extra in the front or back.  They are a one piece retangular shaped insert. I also liked them because there was no trying to stuff the diaper in the shell.

It helped cut down on the bulkiness which is one of my major dislikes concerning cloth diapers. These diapers are much trimmer than others I have tried.  This insert is also their most cost effective option.  Here is a look at the shell with the super saver insert.

Washing is easy too.  Machine wash warm, extra rinse, and tumble dry.  It doesn’t get any easier than that!

If I were to decide (still undecided as of now) to go cloth for diapering I think I would use the Sprout Change system.  As I was looking through their website they also carry training pants.  They say that their training pants can also be used as an all in one diaper.  There are for children who weigh a little more so it would not work for me right now but I do like the idea of an all in one diaper.  That just seems more convenient to me.  I may have to order one and try it out.  Maybe I will use them for my two year as she will be ready to train soon.

Now as far as affordability goes.  I have not really looked around much so I do not know how it compares in regard to other cloth diapering systems but it seems to me to be an affordable investment.  The Willow Store offers diaper packages and starter kits to make things even more affordable.  Of course, your savings would depend on what exactly you purchased.  If you were to purchase the system I have shown here your cost would be  a couple of hundred dollars verses a couple of thousand dollars for disposable.  Not bad at all!

I am not sure yet if I will ever make a complete change away from disposable but I could see myself making a partial change.  Maybe while we are around the house and only use disposable while we are out.  I will have to continue to try them out and who knows maybe as I do it will become a more permanent part of our life.  I love the idea of cloth diapering and the evolution of cloth diapers over the years are making it a more appealing choice. Sprout Change will be the store I order from if we do indeed decide to move more and more toward cloth.

I am the oldest of eight children. My parents divorced when I was about a year old. My mother had a total of seven children and my father remarried and had another child. My friends from high school would probably tell you that I was never having children after taking care of all of my siblings for so long. My husband comes from a family of four children. His father, however, is the youngest child of nine siblings. My husband and I knew we wanted a large family but that meant five or maybe six. We were scoffed at for even wanting that many. We were young when we married, 21 and 18, and the “acceptable” large family size at the time was 3-4 children. The “acceptable” family size is considered much smaller today.

We married young and our family was started right away, we had “stair-step” children. Within our first five years of marriage we had four children. When our youngest was about 15 months old, my husband sat trying to figure out how to tell me he thought we had enough. As he sat contemplating this, I gave him what I thought was wonderful news. I was expecting our fifth child. His immediate response was, “That’s it, we’re done.” Needless to say, this did not sit well with me. A month before the baby was born my husband had a vasectomy. I tried to convince myself this was a great idea and even signed the papers for the surgery. I seemed pleased on the outside but I was devastated on the inside. I think my husband felt relief.

As time went on I became more and more upset, especially as I watched my baby grow older. The yearning for another child grew. Guilt and regret seeped in. I began to pray, God please forgive us and change my husband’s heart concerning this.”

God began to bring people into our lives that He would use to show us His truth. There were some with many children who did not use birth control and there were others who had undergone reversals and had been blessed with children following the procedure. They shared with us how God had worked and continued to bless them in regards to childbearing. I began researching the subject and came across a few books at a used book site. They were inexpensive and I bought them. One of these books spoke my heart, so much so that I called and talked with the author. What an encouragement she had been to me. In fact, we discovered that years earlier I had actually lived in the same neighborhood where she lived. If only we had known them back then.

I began to share with my husband the things I was learning. These things were not merely the opinions of others. That would not be enough. What did God have to say about the matter? Their basis in writing, I found, came from the scriptures and I studied the scriptures on these things as well. God was moving and at work.

My husband began to say things like, “I counted all of the children, who’s missing?” or “WOW, it would be cool to have so many blessings!” and even “You know, if we had the money I would consider getting a reversal.”

Well, that last statement got me off to a busy start! It didn’t take me long to find reversal doctors listed on the internet. To my surprise there were a lot of people with the same convictions. We were not alone and some doctors even believed this way. We found a doctor who provided the surgery as a ministry. We were amazed! God had provided a doctor and an extremely low cost surgery; all we had to do was pray for the finances. God again provided.

The surgery went well and we were so excited. We had never had a problem conceiving before and I figured within a month I would be pregnant. As each month passed, however, I would became more and more devastated. My husband finally asked me if another child was going to be the only thing that would make me happy. He reminded me of our obedience to repent not only in word but also deed – having actions of confession and repentance that places this physically not just spiritually back in the hand of God (this is not to say that God is not still sovereign, He is). He asked me if I would be content and trust the Lord whether or not He chose to bless us with another child. After all, it was not about having more children (though that was our desire) it was about submission and obedience.

After much prayer and wrestling, God brought me to that place of peace where contentment flowed. My desire was still to have another child but I was resting in the Sovereign Lord. I had come to terms with the fact that we most likely would not have another child. I began to take comfort in the fact that we had surrendered things back into the hands of God, which ultimately was the whole point. Peace and contentment filled my heart when I surrendered this to the Lord.

The very next day after my surrender, I was taking my morning shower and the smell of the soap made me nauseous. Thinking this was only my mind playing tricks on me or maybe even part of grieving; I took what I deemed would be my last pregnancy test. Even though I believed it to be a big waste of time I went to the pregnancy center. I volunteered at the center and the ladies there had traveled this journey with me. When my friend returned from reading the results she had tears in her eyes and whispered, “It’s positive.”

The Lord blesses those who seek and obey Him. He used this waiting period to bring me to a place of closer communion with Him. To a place were I was content with God and not just His blessings in my life. Once content, He blessed me abundantly with the desires of my heart. The Lord desires that we not only seek and obey but for us to also be content in that obedience.

My husband and I were sure that this would be the final child to be brought forth from my womb and we rejoiced in her! God, however, does so much more that we can ever ask or imagine and we have since been blessed with four more children. That makes a total of five reversal babies so far. Nothing is too great for my God. What He will accomplish in a surrendered, obedient, and contented life is extravagant!

We have experienced trials along the way and I know we will continue to, but isn’t that a part of the surrendered life? The blessings far exceed the irritation and even persecution of the critics!

Nine years ago today I said hello to a sweet little baby girl.  Yes, our Abigail is turning nine today!  She is our first reversal baby.  I will re-post the story of our journey that led to the reversal in a few days. For now, I will simply say she is a child that was prayed for!

She was a most contented baby.   She has a bit more spunk now!  She is a joy!  She is a delight!  She loves to have fun!  She is full of love!  She has a compassionate heart!

I love that sweet and silly girl!

Happy birthday Abigail!  You are such a gift of God!

[The Birth of Jesus Christ]
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.
[The Shepherds and the Angels]
And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.
And at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised, he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.
(Luke 2:1-21 ESV)

Growing up I changed many a diaper.  In fact, I have been changing diapers since I was five years old.  Yes, five years old!  When I changed my siblings we always used the dreaded cloth diapers with the pins and plastic pants.  They were messy, such a pain to clean, and hard of the fingers (too much pricking of the fingers with those pins)!

When I had my first child I considered using cloth diapers because they are supposed to be so much better for the baby’s sensitive skin but I was not going to deal with what I did growing up.  I was going to use a diaper service.  All I would have to do is place them in the smell-sealing pale and each week they would picked up the dirty ones and deliver clean ones.  It was ideal.  The only thing that stopped us from doing so was the cost factor.  It simply cost too much money for a 19 and 21 years old couple barely making it as it was, so we opted for the cheap disposables.

Over the years and with each child I have toyed with the idea of using cloth but in the end it was just always so much easier to use disposable.   Then a few years ago I saw what a cloth diaper looks like these days.  I was AMAZED!  They are almost like disposables now, no pins needed!  I was beginning to seriously consider using them with the baby I was carrying at the time.  My hubby said he didn’t want to use them though.  They stink and the cost up front was not something that he wanted to commit to.  I can understand that.  They are much more expensive now to get the nice ones.  So once again disposables won out.

Well, with our newest little boy I considered it once again but we are just not willing to spend the money.  After all, who knows how many more children we will be blessed with, if any.  Maybe if we had decided to do this a few children ago it would have been a good investment but now I am not so sure.

A friend, who had no idea that I had contemplated this over the years, asked me if I wanted some cloth diapers.  She was no longer using them.  She said I could try them out and see if it was something that would work for us.  I had no reason now to not try them, they were free!  So I have a bunch of snappies, a one size fits all diaper.  I have tried them a few times here at home.  I am not ready to use them when we are out of the house.   After all, it is really cold right now and I am not sure how leak proof they are.

I am not convinced yet but I am trying them on and off.  The main thing that I dislike is how bulky they are!  Unless I have a large outfit on the baby they will stretch out his clothes.  Maybe this will change as he grows bigger I don’t know.  But I figure if I use them a little then it will save a little, after all I didn’t pay anything for them.

Then last week I was contacted by a company to do a review of their cloth diapers!  Hmmm….

I told them I would be glad to do so!  I just received the sample in the mail and to be honest I like them better than what I have been using but will try it a few more times before I make my final determination.  I have seen some diapers online that I think would be ideal for what I would like in a diaper but am once again not sure I want to invest that much yet.

So, here are my questions to those moms out there who do now or have in the past used cloth diapers.  Do you like them?  Which ones do you use?  Likes? Dislikes?  What do you do about the bulkiness under the clothes??  I can see it being easier for a girl who wears dresses but what about the boys?  How do you keep from stretching out their clothes?  Does the bulkiness become less as they grow bigger? Do you find you need to change them more often than you would a disposable?

I will give the review of the new ones I am trying out and let you in on the mystery company that sent me the sample in my next blog post.