“For you that are parents, or to whom the education of children is comitted, I beseech you mind the duty which lies on you. … For to what purpose do we desire them before we have them, rejoice in them when we have them, value them so highly, sympathize with them so tenderly, grieve for their death so excessively, if in the meantime no care be taken what shall become of them to eternity? … If you neglect to instruct them in the way of holiness, will the devil neglect to instruct them in the way of wickedness? No, no, if you will not teach them to pray, he will teach them to curse, swear and lie. If ground be uncultivated, weeds will spring up.”

~ John Flavel

I remember back in the early days of my marriage and motherhood.  We had many young ones very close together.  (we still do)  Our older children are closer in age though than our younger ones.  I remember how busy I was then and how many people when they should have been encouraging a young mother of many instead found it their place to discourage.  I remember very well doing the math and realizing that one day I would have five teen age children at the same time.  So many tried to discourage me by saying things like how they felt so sorry for me, how they were glad they were not me, how they would shoot themselves rather than being in my place, how I would regret having these children, and the open ended “just wait until” comments.

Thankfully, I did not let those comments discourage me.  In fact, I often did and still do feel sorry for those people who did not realize the blessing of children and young adults.  I remember speaking with my husband and saying how we knew it would be different.  Yes, it doesn’t matter how well you parent, you can still have a wayward child.  But, when you are raising your children for the glory of God and being dependent upon him and fully engaged in prayer for your children trusting in the promises of God, there is hope and confidence in who those children will grow to become.

I used to say to myself that I would wait and see when the day came whether those discouragements were valid.  One amazing thing I have discovered in this journey of parenthood is this, if you see your children as blessings that is what they end up being.

Well, we are in the midst of birthday season and I am now the mother of five teen age children and I can easily without reservation say that they are each a blessing!  Not only a blessing but a tremendous blessing!  They do not give me heartache as the naysayers said they would.  I am honored to be their mother!  I am honored that the Lord blessed me with them!  My life is fuller and richer because of them!

Having five teens is not the disaster so many told me it would be.  It is not full of heart ache and grief as many warned.  I still have my hair and it is not white!  I am blessed beyond measure!

So to all those naysayers, I hope you can see that children and young adults truly are a treasure, a blessing, and a gift of the Lord!

Do you ever just feel like a total failure? There are rarely days when I feel that all has gone perfectly, in fact, I can’t even remember the last time that happened. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. My calling in this life is to be a wife and a mother. I am to glorify God through those things yet often times I seem to fail miserably! This calling in my opinion is one of the greatest in life because it holds such eternal consequences!

Other people will see accomplishment and evidence of great work in this area of my life but often times I only see my failings. I know how often we skip our family devotionals. I know how often I loose my temper. I know how often I lack compassion. I know how neglected my Bible reading can be. I know how lacking my prayer life can be at times. I know the things that go through my mind and that occupy my thoughts that are not glorifying or edifying. These are things that others do not see.

I truly feel as if I fail more than I succeed! Yet, I look at my family, I look at my children, I listen to the comments and encouragement of others. I see the hand of God at work! When I receive praise I am keenly aware of the fact that any good is not because of me but in spite of me. I work hard, often not hard enough but it is not my work that accomplishes anything praise worthy. It is the Lord’s work. It is only by his hand, grace, mercy, instruction, and power. It is God who deserves the praise!

I am encouraged by these words:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I often pray that God would do amazing things with our family and these children that he has entrusted to us. That he will do a mighty work in their lives. That they would bring honor and praise to his name. That the Lord would be glorified in their lives. That the Lord would grant me the wisdom, dedication, love, and ability to do all that he has called me to in raising these arrows.  I ask that if anyone is ever led to pray for me that these are things that are lifted up before the Lord on my behalf.

I wish for other mothers to be encouraged to not be discouraged in the daunting yet indescribably rewarding task of raising children for the glory of God!  Remember it is not all dependent upon you.  God will accomplish his purposes.  Just keep praying, keep striving, continue in love and obedience.

Let me leave you with this benediction and may you be encouraged just as these words encourage me:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.  Hebrews 13: 20-21

And remember, be a light to your children and God will do the rest.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  Philippians 2:12-13

We have never really had a problem in our family with jealousy when a new baby arrives. I am thankful for that. Usually we just notice when the children (usually the one who used to be the baby) is needing a little extra cuddles. If we pay attention and meet that need then there is never a problem with jealousy.

My two year old has a new phrase that she uses to let me know she needs some lovin’. She says, “Mommy, I need you,” and she uses the best whiny voice you can imagine. So I pick her us and we cuddle and she is happy again.

Well, this morning she came to me with her, “Mommy, I need you,” cry. I picked her up and she was quiet. Next thing you know she is pulling my shirt out and looking down it! I look at her and say, “Um, what are you doing? Do you need to nurse?” Usually when this happens she smiles and says no and runs off to play. Well, this morning she looks at me with the saddest eyes you have ever seen and says, “Uh huh!” (meaning YES!)

Shocked I asked her again and received the same reply!

I told her I didn’t really think she needed that but that she just needed a hug. She put her arms out and gave a big hug! Then she looks at me and says, “Mommy, I need some juice!” LOL

Maybe she was thirsty after all!!!! HaHa!!

Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

What an encouraging verse and one with a promise. This is something that I have been in need of lately. I have been growing weary. There are just those days that are harder than others and it is easy to loose focus. Being a mom is a tough job and one with so many responsibilities and eternal consequences. There are the days when the children don’t listen and I begin to feel that if I were to disappear no one would even notice. Then a little one will come and give me a hug and I remember that I am here for a purpose. I have simply grown weary.

There are days like this past week when I clean and clean and clean. Even though I removed two big boxes of stuff to throw out and seven trash bags full of stuff to donate I feel as if the house is a wreck and you do not even notice any progress. Rather than seeing the progress amongst the mess I have grown weary.

Mountain climbing is fun and in fact it is one of my favorite activities but for some reason Mount Washmore wearies me more than any other.

When the children continue to be snippy and not on their best behavior if I become discouraged then I begin to feel like a total failure in my parenting abilities. This is the worse. If I grow weary then I begin to focus on myself and what I have or have not accomplished. I should be remembering that it is God alone who can change their hearts.

There are many responsibilities and many things that I need to do to be a good parent but most importantly my job is to rely on the Lord for each and every aspect of being a parent. I am to rely on the Lord for the grace and wisdom to raise these children. I am to rely on the Lord for the outcome. After all, it is the Lord who works in their lives and changes hearts, attitudes, minds, and habits. I am simply one vessel he uses to do accomplish his plans for their lives. When I remember that I am to do all I can but God is the one who is doing the real work it becomes easier and easier to not grow weary. I simply need to be obedient, to continue to do good, and to keep my focus where it belongs. It becomes so much easier to not grow weary.

Take the encouragement this promise offers. In due season we will reap and it will make the difficult days so worth it. Just like in giving birth, the pain seems unbearable but the reward is so worth it!

Praise be to God that he allows us mothers to work so hard and to reap even more abundantly!

This past weekend the ladies from the church we attend threw a baby shower for the baby and me.  I have had many a baby shower thrown for me and my newborns but this was by far the biggest blessing of them all.  I love these ladies so much!

Everything was perfect!  There was a cute little safari theme with little monkeys,  a dessert made especially for me with my favorite ingredients, and an amazing group of loving ladies to share conversation with!  These ladies are there to share joys and struggles and to offer encouragement.  There were even the adorable little baby gifts!

BUT…….

What I loved most…..

about the day was that this baby shower was not filled with the typical baby shower games.  Those can be fun but that is really all they are.  My friend who organized the shower suggested something completely different.  Instead of playing the usual baby shower games we had a time of group prayer.  I had several prayer requests that I sent to my friend and she shared them with the ladies who attended.  It was so amazing to have such a godly group of ladies praying over me, my newborn son, and the rest of my family!

They prayed for our little Nathan, that he would grow into a strong, godly, young man.  That he would come to know the Lord at an early age and live a life honoring the Lord.  That he would be healthy.  That God would be preparing a godly wife for him even now.  They prayed for me and for my husband as we teach and train him.  That I would be patient even amidst sleepless nights.  That I would have compassion.  That I would not grow weary and that I would rely upon the Lord in the great task of being a parent.  They prayed the same things for my husband as he leads our household.  They prayed for our family with our upcoming move. They prayed for our other children, for our schooling, and for there to be a good relationship cultivated between our newest son and our oldest who has already moved out.

It was such an unbelievably sweet time of prayer!  I do not ever recall people praying for our family in such a way!  It is an amazing blessing that I will always cherish!

I think of all the gifts that we received that day the time of prayer was by far the most special, most desired, and most needed of them all!

As I thank the Lord for my new son and my entire family, I will be thanking him for the church family he has blessed us with.

Thank you Lord for each of those ladies!  Thank you Lord, that we can come before your throne in prayer!

Thank you ladies of Faith PCA Anchorage!  Thank you for showering us with prayer!!!

About a year or so ago a dear friend shared a CD with me.  She said that a friend of hers put these CDs together and thought that we would enjoy them.  The children LOVED it so we decided to purchase the rest of the catechism cds and have been enjoying them ever since.

The other day a very well known blogger posted about these very cds.  Challies posted about Songs for Saplings along with other music for children.  Challies wrote:

Songs for Saplings is James and Dana Dirksen from Porland, Oregon. They have recorded four albums, one of which follows an A,B,C format while the other three are questions and answers, much like a catechism. I suppose these albums will largely appeal to younger children. They are quiet and acoustic.

He is correct in his assessment of the cds. They are geared toward younger children. But they are beneficial for the entire family.  The catechism cds do appeal to older children more and more in the second and third cds.  There is a great variety in the style of music on each cd. You can even listen to excerpts on their website.

What I love about them is that the children (and us parents) learn the great truths presented in the Westminster Catechism which is derived directly from scripture. Each question and answer also contains the scripture that teaches the truth. This way your children are not only learning the doctrinal truth but the scriptures that proclaim that truth.

Songs for Saplings is a ministry of the Dirksen family and this is what they state on their website.

We create lively, fun songs that attempt to deliver the deepest of Biblical truth in a format that your children will love to listen to. We want them to understand who God is and what He has done, as well as what He wants your children to do and to be. We hope that you will benefit from these CDs and use them to help teach your children about our God and his great love for us.

With Christmas time approaching, what better gift could you give than the gift of music which teaches and proclaims the greatness of our Lord Jesus Christ?!

I am pleased to announce that I can offer you a 20% discount off of your order when you buy CDs from their website. This includes the “12-pack bulk pack” which a lot of people order for gift-giving. This does however exclude the 24 and 48 CD bulk packs, which are already heavily discounted.

All you need to do is enter the following code as you go through the checkout: mamaarcher
It’s really simple.

Hopefully you will find this really helpful as you order CDs this Christmas!

As you seek to grow your little saplings……

into strong oaks of righteousness…

Songs for Saplings can be a musical and fun tool for you and your family to use and enjoy!

that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
(Isaiah 61:3b)

Visit SONGS FOR SAPLINGS and order your CDs today! Order some for your friends and family too! Don’t forget to enter the discount code for your 20% off!

Please leave a comment and let me know if you plan on making a purchase and what you think of their music and ministry!

Regardless of whether you order, please tweet, email, and share on Facebook so that others can take advantage of the discount offer!

No, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth.  I have just been enjoying having my husband home and that means that I spend less time on the computer.  There has been a lot going on in the past week.  On top of hubby’s return we are also dealing with some life changing events right now.

One of those being the fact that we will have to be moving this coming spring/summer but I will share more of that when it happens.  Just pray for contentment in that area for me.

The big change that we are dealing with especially this week is that our oldest child is moving out of the house.  I always imagined how hard it would be and am finding that some of my imaginings are not true but also that there are other emotions that I did not anticipate.  He is moving in with a few of his guy friends in Anchorage.  It seems strange that my little boy is going to be basically out on his own.  On one hand it is a saddening occasion but not as sad as I thought it would be.  Maybe because he is “out” so much already, I don’t know.  I am proud of the fact that he will making his way but am also concerned about how he intends to do that.  He is not as much of a plan follower as his father and I are.

One emotion I did not anticipate is that of relief.  I never expected that!  I am indeed a little relieved that he is out on his own.  To be completely honest, I almost feel guilty about that one.  I am relieved though that it is now and not a few months from now.  This way he will have several months out on his own with us still here in Alaska if he were to need anything.  This way he isn’t moving out the same time we are.

We are still praying about his job situation which is not optimal yet.  He is looking into a promotion later this week and working towards joining the Alaska Air Guard.  We are simply praying that the Lord would be pleased to provide those for him.  He finishes his move out of our home today.

So as I mentioned above, emotions are mixed.  There is a little sadness, there is pride in my son, there is some excitement for him, there is a little nervousness, there is some relief. There is also some disbelief at the fact that we have finally come to this portion of life where our children are old enough to be out on their own.  Where has the time gone?

Even though it is true all of the time, there does come that time when you have to rest more and more fully on the Lord.  When your children transition to the place where all of their decisions are on their own (apart from their parents).  Trusting the Lord to take the efforts you have placed into that child and to let those things be held fast can be a difficult thing.  This is something we must always do but honestly when they are under your roof it is easier to end up relying on yourself.  This is a daily struggle.  It seems to all come to a head though when that false sense of control is taken away.  I am thankful that the Lord has been and will continue to be my guide in raising my children.  I am glad that I am following his revealed plan.  There is still that constant struggle.  But I am trusting in the Lord and praying.  I know he loves my son more than I and that he is safe in his hands.

Trust, trust, trust.  Through the joyful task of raising our children we are taught to trust.  To trust in our Heavenly Father above all else.  For that I am thankful!

This is a claim that has been made against my family many times.  Often by children of other families.

“You have too many rules.”

“You don’t have to ask.”

“Why do you have so many rules.”

“You have to ask about that, that is just dumb.  We don’t have to ask.  Just come on and lets do it.”

Several other comments very similar have come our way as well.  My children were discussing this fact with me yesterday.  Apparently the comments were made again.  One child simply told their sibling to just respect the rules and quit trying to cause trouble.  I appreciated the maturity of that girl.  Needless to say, my children and I once again had our “why rules are important” discussion.

I will admit that we do tend to have more rules than most families these days, even other Christian families.  I see the families that often make the comments about us having too many rules and even my children will say that they think their friends would benefit from having a few more rules of their own.

My children do not go anywhere or really do anything without permission.  They do not get any food without permission.  We have rules for the trampoline.  We have rules on how to treat others, being fair, respecting others, sticking up for their siblings, and more.  Of course, these are not always perfectly followed but my children do know what is expected of them.

So, why so many rules?

First off there are a lot of us and rules help us to maintain some semblance of order and organization as well as safety.

More importantly it trains children to respect authority, respect boundaries, and to develop self-discipline.  How can a child be expected to honor, respect, and obey their Heavenly Father if they cannot even do so with their earthly father?

If a child never has boundaries to respect and an understanding of why they are important how can we expect them to have boundaries and be self-disciplined to adhere to them when they are older?  How can we expect children to respect authority if we have not trained them to do so?

Respecting authority, adhering to boundaries, and having good self-discipline are things that not only do not come naturally but are things that we most tend to fight against. Children must be taught these things from an early age.  It is something that adults need continual practice in as well.  As a child grows older parents can relax a bit on maintaining the standard or rules because children will begin to exercise that self-discipline more and more.  The struggle however is not something that is ever fully overcome.

I still struggle as an adult to respect authority sometimes.  I still struggle sometimes with boundary issues.  I still struggle at times with self-discipline.  If it is something that an adult struggles with on a daily basis imagine a child developing these strengths without any guidance or rules to practice with.

Children also learn through example.  Even as we ourselves struggle through these issues children will learn by our example.  They will learn as they see us doing what is right even when it is difficult.  Even us adults have rules we must obey.  Our children will learn most by us practicing what we teach.  But we must also be teaching them and providing them the opportunities to exercise that teaching.  They are not just going to pick it up by watching us.  If we were perfectly honest with ourselves we would admit that we are not always the best example.  That is why teaching along side our example is so very important.

So at our house we may have many rules.  There is a reason for that.  Even amidst the many rules my children thrive.  Children need direction, guidance, and opportunities to exercise what we are teaching them.  Even other children can learn from that as they struggle with the rules of our house and our children share with them the importance.

So, how about you?  Are you a house of many rules or few rules?  How do you teach your children to respect authority, adhere to boundaries, develop self-discipline, and to obey willingly and without reservation their Heavenly Father?

Have you ever noticed that there are parents who excuse away all kinds of sinfulness in their children.  Especially in their young children.  They either think it is cute or say things like, “Boys will be boys.”   It is often easier to let things go or just ignore them when the children are little.  To be honest, sometimes we feel we are just too tired to deal with it.  Even the excuse of exhaustion is not acceptable.

There is a trend today where parents let the little ones get away with way too much and when they turn into unruly teens then tighten the screws and begin to really crack down.  After all, they need it!  The fact is that they needed it when they were young.

We do not have perfect children by any means but we do have pretty well behaved children.  At least most of the time.  We are often approached when we are out in public.  We have had our meals paid for because the families said they were blessed to see a large family walk in and be pleasantly surprised that their meal was not ruined by unruly children.  One time I will never forget was in a Chinese restaurant in Montana somewhere.  An older man approached my husband and complimented him on their behavior.  He then went on to say that his grandchildren were out of control.  They were in their teens and listened to no authority at all and wanted to know our secret.  Here is a man much older than us asking my hubby for parenting advice for his grandchildren.  My husband, as gently as he could said, “Start when they are young.  Discipline them when they are young.”  The man sighed and shook his head knowingly and said, “Yep, your right, your right.”  He then thanked us for reminding him that there are good families out there.  It broke my heart.

It breaks my heart each and every time I hear of people who cannot stand their children or grandchildren.  It often makes me wonder about the parents when I see children so out of control.  Now I do realize that even children with parents who take action when they are young still end up with unruly children.  All children must be held responsible for their own actions.  But we as parents must also do all that we can to train them well.

We must not excuse away a child’s behavior.  There may be a reason for a child acting in a particular way but that does not justify wrong and sinful actions.   If a child is trained well when they are young, holding them accountable, teaching them, sticking to our guns when it is hard, following through even when we are weary, covering them in prayer, love, encouragement  amidst the discipline,  and when needed admitting when we were wrong,  they will grow to be self-controlled and gain wisdom for making right decisions.  We must ingrain in them acceptable behavior when they are young if we expect them to hold on to it when they grow older. Today’s trend of tightening the parenting hold when children get older is actually backwards of what it should be. We should parent them well and consistently when they are young so that when they begin to grow into adulthood we can loosen the reigns rather than tightening them.  We should not have adolescence be just another stage of childhood but we should see it as their introduction to adulthood (with the privileges comes the responsibility also).  Expectations for them should rise not fall.  This does not mean that we totally let go when they are older.  They still need guidance and boundaries.  We should however be to a point where they respect those boundaries, seek the guidance, and can be trusted(not just wishful thinking) to make wise decisions.

It is a lot of work to parent consistently when children are little for what we may deem small infractions but those small infractions if allowed, accepted, and excused will grow with that child and it will be much more difficult to parent when grown.  Do not forget to address the heart and motivation behind the wrong doing as well.  Parenting must deal with the root and not just the action to truly be effective.

Let me encourage you to not loose heart, do not grow weary, continue on.  You, your children, and all those they come in contact with will be blessed by your diligent and faithful work as a parent.  Teach them while they are young and be blessed by them more and more as they grow!