It is easy to state what one believes but it is not always so easy when those things are put to the test, or must be put into practice, or when circumstances do not fall into the plans we have for our lives.  It is one thing to say that you believe God to be sovereign but when life doesn’t go the way you think it should it makes one come face to face with that belief.  Do I really believe that God is sovereign and even though I do not see the good can I trust that God knows what is best?

I am going through this once again.  We are preparing for an unwanted move.  If it were up to me, I would NEVER leave Alaska.  Our next assignment (which I am not sharing at this time) is not one that I am looking forward to.  Not only are we going to have to move from my beloved Alaska but we are moving to the one place I DIDN’T want to go!  Not only are we moving but we are moving earlier than anticipated because it is a special assignment.  This messes up all of my plans for late spring and early summer.  It is also a shorter than normal assignment so I have another back to back move to look forward to.  It interferes with graduating children too.  We may not even have time to get our house ready to put on the market and will need to be renting it out.  Long, LONG, distant landlords was not necessarily appealing to us.  Not to mention, we will have no snow!  To top it all off we will be leaving behind our eldest child.  We will be a long way away!

BUT,

I DO believe that God is sovereign!  I know that he has a plan for us and that I do not always see the big picture.  I know that God can tell that I am a little confused and in disagreement with his plans at the moment but I am still trusting.  I am trying to get my children to understand and to trust, all the while struggling with it myself.

This is where the rubber meets the road.  Will I trust even though it doesn’t seem best to me?  OR, Will I fight and fight the whole way?  I really do not have the energy to fight and I have learned along the way that God doesn’t change what is best for me just so I can have what I think might be best.  Not to mention, that if I were honest, I would never want him to anyway.  I simply wish that my ways were his ways.  Isn’t that horrible!!!!  This is where prayer comes in.  I do not even want that kind of thinking and desire in my heart.  I should want HIS ways to be my ways not the other way around!

This is part of the military life that many do not talk about.  Most military families love the moving and the adventure.  OR at least they say they do!  It is fun moving and going new places and seeing new things but I am one who grew up in the same small town and see the benefits of living that way.  It is becoming more and more of a struggle for me to pack up and move.  I am one of those rare or at least seemingly rare military wives that struggles with the “pack it up and move on” kind of lifestyle.  Is it a bad thing that I struggle?  I don’t think so.  Do I wish that I didn’t have this struggle almost every time we move?  Of course.  But God teaches me through each of these moves to trust him more and more for numerous things.  It tests my faith each and every time.  Some times it is easier than other times. Sometimes harder.  This is one of those harder times.

I continue to remind myself of the great God that I serve, of his love not only for me but for my entire family.  I try to rest in who he is!  I remind myself that he is indeed sovereign and I am simply, me.  His wisdom far exceeds my own and I must trust him!  I will trust him!  I even need to trust him to help me to follow him with a cheerful heart even when he leads me where I do not want to go.

I will share more about our new assignment later.  For now, please just pray for me to have a cheerful heart concerning this move.  Momma tends to set the tone for the whole family and most of the children are struggling as well.

God is good.  This assignment will be what is best.  I desire to be open to God’s best for our lives.  I pray my own will, heart, and desires will fall in line and that my trust in my Savior will grow more and more through this journey.

Many will say, “Oh, come on, it is just a move!” …….. Well, for right now, I think it is much more……… It is an opportunity (though one I didn’t ask for) to grow, trust, and hopefully to cheerfully pass the test of the rubber meeting the road!

The day finally came! And it came earlier than we had anticipated!  My hubby is home from Afghanistan!  All the children except our oldest (he had to work) went to the airport with me.  We waited for  a while and the children were a little restless as they waited but they did a good a job.

One lady who arrived from a different flight saw my daughter holding the sign we had specially made for our reunion.  She approached her and told her to please give her dad a big hug and kiss for her and to say thank you and that many were very proud of him.  It caused my daughter a bit of a shock.  After all who is this strange lady asking her to kiss her dad for her.  LOL  But it made me cry and I told the the lady would we tell him and thank you.

I was a little concerned about whether the youngest ( not quite two years old yet) would remember her daddy.  Skype is an amazing tool and I think it helped a lot in this regard.  One of my older daughters was taking photos so we didn’t get the shot I would have liked to have had.  It was priceless to me and I will remember it forever.  When her daddy came walking toward her, the three siblings closest in age to her went running.

She stood there in what seemed like shock with her arms outstretched for a several seconds before she could even seem to get her feet to move!  Then she went running into her daddy’s arms.  She recognized him and was so thrilled to see her daddy!

We are all so very glad to have our family back together again.  It seems a bit strange to be honest.

Hubby is adjusting to being back in the states.  He is still adjusting to the cooler weather here at home. Things like walking into a grocery store seem strange to him.  Not hearing the big guns on a regular basis and not having sand filled air seems strange to him.  He has forgotten which drawer the silverware is kept in.  But he is glad to be home and we are so glad to have him home.  He is still not sleeping well.  So pray for him. Between the time difference and his Afghanistan dreams sleep has been difficult.

He has also jumped right in at home.  He was surprised at the amount of lightbulbs that needed to be changed. (hanging my head in shame, LOL)  He has done several small repairs already.  One thing that is strange to me but also a nice break is that our youngest has changed from crying out for Momma in the middle of night to crying out for Daddy.

So, he is home and life is grand.  Blogging may be a bit sparser than usual just because we are enjoying time together as a family. Hubs gets two weeks off and we plan on enjoying every minute of it together.

“Welcome home Dear, we love you and are so very, very happy to have you home!”

Well, my two with pneumonia are on the mend.  It is amazing what a little pink antibiotic can do!  The rest of us, well, we could maybe do with a little of that pink stuff.  I spent almost the entire day at the hospital going to appointments.  I had my OB appointment.  That actually went well.  I am down to only one finger stick a day now instead of four.  The baby seems to be doing well and growing well!  Baby measured three weeks bigger than two weeks ago but still on track and I only gained one pound to boot!

I did actually manage to get an appointment for another child in the peds clinic, almost unheard of these days.  BUT I was not impressed.  I think I had the one doc who really should not be wearing that title.  She is older and seems absent minded.  She even left her tools laying around the room and never put them away.  She tells me that this child I brought in probably just has a cold.  She can hear nothing to even indicate the need for an x-ray.  I am sitting there wondering if this lady even has good hearing.  I brought up the fact that my daughter complains and moans that her ribs hurt every time she breathes.  That lady actually shrugged her shoulders and said she didn’t know and that she guesses a cold could cause that.  We came home and daughter spiked a temp of 102.5.  That doesn’t sound like just a cold to me.  We will see if her body can fight it off or maybe we will end up back in the ER some time this weekend.

I am fighting this bug as well and feel pretty much like, well, you know.  My temp is gone for now so I will just suffer through it.  Being sick however has made my blood sugar begin to spike so I am praying I get over this soon for more than one reason now.

I am hoping we will all be well by time hubby makes it home next week.  If he makes it home next week like anticipated.  He began his travel a day or so ago and upon reaching his first stop along the way they informed him he was supposed to have been there days ago.  He was given the wrong dates.  Do they know how bored he has been just sitting around while his replacement was already there???  So, I am waiting to hear if they have figured out his new travel arrangements yet.  They do this moving troops thing enough, you would think that the system would have all the kinks worked out.  His travel has been messed up almost every time!  I am just ready for him to be home and so are the children.   They know time is getting short and are beginning to start in with the, “I miss daddy” talk again.  I was hoping the last couple of weeks of this deployment would snowball and go by quickly but they seem longer and longer with each passing day.   Soon though; very soon!

So the plan for today:  Clean and try to kill these pesky germs, piano lessons, pay the bills, grocery shopping, clean out the vehicles, and try not to be sick anymore!

On an up note, I splurged and finally bought myself a pair of Dansko clogs and I LOVE them!!!  )

And yesterday, one child took the PSAT and thinks she did well.  That is one standardized test for the year out of the way!

I guess I should go shower and get the children moving while we wait for the sun to rise.  May the Lord bless your day today!

Today is my husband’s birthday.  He is still in Afghanistan but should be home soon.  I miss him dearly.  I am so anxious for him to finally arrive safe and sound here at home in Alaska!  I am so very thankful for him!

I am so very proud of him too!  We found out a week or so ago that he was selected for major and should hopefully be pinning on his new rank sometime around May. He works so hard and gives so much to others!

I love you darling!  Happy birthday!  See you soon!

We are down to about two weeks until hubby is supposed to be home!  I cannot believe that we are finally getting that close!  I wish I were not so tired!  There are so many things that need to be done before he gets here!

We are not where I wanted to be with our school lessons by now.  Only a few days behind where I wanted to be but right now that seems like a lot.  I wanted to have the whole first quarter finished when he came home so we could take a break and just enjoy Daddy being here.  This may mean the next couple of Saturdays are school days as well.

The house needs a good thorough cleaning.  We never seem to get any further than just picking things up.  I know that the cleanliness of the house is not what hubby is coming to see but it would be nice for him to come home to a fresh, clean home.

The snow will most likely be arriving about the same time hubby does and I do not have all of the summer things stored yet.  The bbq grill is still on the deck along with all of the flower pots containing now dead flowers.  The trampoline still needs to be disassembled for the winter too.  I need to take the van to get the studded tires put on as well as the usual maintenance. I also have not packed away sandles, raincoats, or break-up boots.  I need to get those things packed away and the winter gear in the house before the first snowfall.

It may not seem like much but with dwindling energy and a growing belly along with weekly treks to the hospital for appointments, labs, and unexpected visits to labor & delivery (another story) I am wondering when I am going to catch up.

But even as I think upon all I have to do.  I do have fresh new motivation, however, knowing that hubs will home soon, I work better with deadlines I think.  Whether it is all accomplished or not, hubby should be home in TWO WEEKS!!!  I am so thankful that this time of separation is coming to an end!  Please pray that his travels would be safe!

I am not sure about the exact details of how this all came about.  But there is a lady that my hubby has conversed with while over in Afghanistan.  She runs a support the troops group.  Most of the ladies in her circle are from Washington State plus a few others.  This is a wonderful group of Christian ladies!

She has sent my hubby several things that he has needed over in Afghanistan including a projector screen to be used in worship services.  During one of the many conversations this lady found out that we were expecting a baby and the idea of a baby shower via USPS was born.  My hubby never told me about this conversation.  He just waited until I mentioned what was going on.

One day a couple of months ago I received a package in the mail from someone that I do not know.  The package was full of handmade crocheted baby items in boy colors.  There was also a letter from the leader of this group.  She explained how she and her friends were supporting the troops at FOB Wright (where hubby is) with care packages and prayer.  She was excited to hear about the baby boy we are expecting and that she was thrilled to be able to put together this baby shower. Then she thanked me for sacrificing so much by having my hubby off to war and holding down the home front for our family.

I was stunned.  I simply could not believe it!  There were so many sweet little things in that package and I was very thankful for the generosity of the ladies in this group.   I was even more thankful that they took the time to acknowledge the sacrifice of each member of our family!  Little did I realize that everything in that package was from just that one lady!  For the last month or so I have received two or three packages a week in the mail containing cards, words of encouragement, prayers and support, blessings for our new little one, and a cute little baby gift!  All from people who do not even know us!

What an outpouring of love and gratitude!  Though it really shouldn’t, it often amazes me when people display the love of Christ so vividly especially to those they do not even know.  I will be ever grateful for the support of these dear ladies who care so very much for others!

Though the baby gifts are fun to receive I think the love and support is the greatest gift they gave!  Lord, thank you for these sweet ladies!  Bless their ministry to our troops and their families!

Could you do it?  Have you done it?  Vacationed without your spouse?  There are a few things we did this summer just the children and I.  We didn’t do nearly as much as I had planned mostly due to the pregnancy.  But I wonder how much we would have done if I had been feeling better.

A friend called me yesterday(her hubby is in Afghanistan too) and wanted to know if I wanted to take the children and catch the hop to Hawaii with her.  That flight leaves today.  Our schedule could not accommodate that but even if it could I don’t think that I could do that alone.  The trip alone would do me in I think but to go someplace like Hawaii without my hubby just didn’t seem right to me.

My friend also decided against going without her hubby.  This got me too thinking though.  Could I really go on a real vacation without my hubs along?  I don’t mean little trips, I mean the big, real, vacationing kind of trips.  I don’t think so.  It just wouldn’t be right.

Am I wrong here?  Could you do it?  Have you done it before?  If so, did you end up wishing you had waited for your hubby to go with you?  Just curious here…..

I thought that I would share an update. First let me say that I am so glad that this deployment will soon be coming to an end! We have had six months of what seems to be almost constant stress and mini crisis. If it isn’t one thing going wrong it is another. The Lord has been so gracious to us though. He has provided us with a church family that has showered us with the love of Christ. It has been YEARS since we have seen the love of Christ flow in this manner toward our family! I am so thankful!

We have been separated 177 days. We have approximately 35 days to go (maybe a week more–who knows for sure). I was hoping that the home stretch would snowball and pass quickly but that does not seem to be the way of things. The days seem to be growing longer even as the Alaska days are growing shorter. How does that happen??? Maybe we are too anxiously awaiting my husband’s return but it is hard to do otherwise.

So we are doing what we can. Keeping busy with our school lessons and a multitude of extra curricular activities hoping to pass the time more quickly. We are trying to enjoy the beautiful September days before the snow begins to fall.

But what is my hubby up too? Good question. He doesn’t really share much with me about what he is dealing with over there. We will have plenty of time to discuss that when he gets home if he is ready to share. Every now and then the PRT (Provincial Reconstruction Team in Kunar Province) shares a little of what is going on. Hubby told me about this the other day and it was nice to read an article with hubby quoted and a photo of him at work, even if it is a back shot!

Here is the article on the Kunar team commemorating Patriot Day and the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City’s Twin Towers, the Pentagon and those lost in Shanksville, Pa.

Please take a moment to pop over and read the short article. Make sure to leave me a comment today too! Your comments always make me smile!

Hubby decided to go shopping.
Who knew they had a Wal*Mart even in Afghanistan? Hehe

It seems that when my hubby is gone if something can go wrong it will go wrong.  There have been so many stressful things that have happened since he left.  On top of just being without him it has been doubly hard with all of the added stressers.  I am thankful though that I have a Lord and Savior who reminds me that he is here and I am not alone.  It is still hard to deal with the stress though.  There are days when I know I am not dealing very well with it, I pray for strength to go on.  Then there are days that seem to be almost stress free, I praise God for an easier day.  Then there are those days when I think I am fooling everyone (hehe-yeah right).

This past Sunday was one of those days when I thought I had it all together and was fooling everyone.  As I was speaking with a friend and she made the comment that she could see the stress on my face.  What??  I thought I had it all covered up!

Image by angelsk via Flickr

At first, I was not overly happy that it was showing  but then I began to be thankful.  I was thankful that someone noticed!  It is hard when no one seems to notice or even care!  We military wives are expected to just suck it up and get over it!  That is often easier said than done. It is nice to have someone tell you that you don’t have to be tough all the time and that it is okay to struggle. I tell you, if it was not for my amazing church family here (and one neighbor) I would have no support.  I am so thankful for my church family here and how I can always count on them! I am thankful for how they step in and meet our needs.   I am thankful for how they encourage me, how they remind me to point my focus back on the Lord when I begin to focus more on my circumstances. I am so thankful for the friends that I have there!  I am thankful that  they notice and they care when I have had a rough week!  They have truly shown the love of Christ to our family.

Since my hubby left I have spent so much more time in prayer!  That is a good thing!  I have not had my hubby to depend on and it has forced me to rely more and more on my Savior!  Sometimes though it is good to have that physical hug from a friend.  I am glad that I have that with my church family.  I am thankful that the Lord provided me a family here.

So let me challenge you.  If you have military families where you live (well anyone for that matter).  Take time to notice and take time to care.  If you can see stress on their faces be an encouragement don’t just turn and walk away. Make sure to remember them, their situation, and their struggles throughout the separation not just in the first month. Sometimes just noticing and genuinely caring can make all the difference in their day!

Please leave a comment and share some ways that you encourage others or what others have done to encourage you.