Afghanistan Wal*Mart

Hubby decided to go shopping.
Who knew they had a Wal*Mart even in Afghanistan? Hehe

It’s On Your Face

It seems that when my hubby is gone if something can go wrong it will go wrong.  There have been so many stressful things that have happened since he left.  On top of just being without him it has been doubly hard with all of the added stressers.  I am thankful though that I have a Lord and Savior who reminds me that he is here and I am not alone.  It is still hard to deal with the stress though.  There are days when I know I am not dealing very well with it, I pray for strength to go on.  Then there are days that seem to be almost stress free, I praise God for an easier day.  Then there are those days when I think I am fooling everyone (hehe-yeah right).

This past Sunday was one of those days when I thought I had it all together and was fooling everyone.  As I was speaking with a friend and she made the comment that she could see the stress on my face.  What??  I thought I had it all covered up!

Image by angelsk via Flickr

At first, I was not overly happy that it was showing  but then I began to be thankful.  I was thankful that someone noticed!  It is hard when no one seems to notice or even care!  We military wives are expected to just suck it up and get over it!  That is often easier said than done. It is nice to have someone tell you that you don’t have to be tough all the time and that it is okay to struggle. I tell you, if it was not for my amazing church family here (and one neighbor) I would have no support.  I am so thankful for my church family here and how I can always count on them! I am thankful for how they step in and meet our needs.   I am thankful for how they encourage me, how they remind me to point my focus back on the Lord when I begin to focus more on my circumstances. I am so thankful for the friends that I have there!  I am thankful that  they notice and they care when I have had a rough week!  They have truly shown the love of Christ to our family.

Since my hubby left I have spent so much more time in prayer!  That is a good thing!  I have not had my hubby to depend on and it has forced me to rely more and more on my Savior!  Sometimes though it is good to have that physical hug from a friend.  I am glad that I have that with my church family.  I am thankful that the Lord provided me a family here.

So let me challenge you.  If you have military families where you live (well anyone for that matter).  Take time to notice and take time to care.  If you can see stress on their faces be an encouragement don’t just turn and walk away. Make sure to remember them, their situation, and their struggles throughout the separation not just in the first month. Sometimes just noticing and genuinely caring can make all the difference in their day!

Please leave a comment and share some ways that you encourage others or what others have done to encourage you.

Wednesday Hero

This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Greta

This weeks post is a little different from the norm. It’s honoring the 13 Men and Women who were awarded the Presidential Citizens Medal. People like George J. Weiss Jr. A World War II veteran who has made it his mission to provide military honors to deceased veterans at Fort Snelling National Cemetery in Minneapolis. And Susan Retik who, after she lost her husband on September 11, 2001, started an organization called Beyond the 11th to help women in Afghanistan. And the person Greta wanted to honor. MaryAnn Phillips of Soldiers’ Angels Germany who has made it her mission to help wounded service Men and Woman medevaced to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. You can read about MaryAnn Phillips’s nomination here. These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero. We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. For more information about Wednesday Hero, or if you would like to post it on your site, you can go here.

Words from an 18 Month Old

I love hearing little ones as they begin to talk.  Sometimes it is cute as can be, sometimes the words are very clear and other sometimes it has you scratching your head wondering what in the world they just said, and sometimes it even breaks your heart.

Hear are a few things my sweet pea has said in the last couple of days.

Buh lomp a bleen

This could fall into the cute as can be category and the WHAT?? category.  But I speak baby-ese and I knew exactly what she was saying.  Do you have a good guess?

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Well, if you guessed trampoline, you were correct!  Cute as can be, huh?

Here is another cute one….

We went to the zoo not long ago and she was able to pet the goats.  Her word for goat came out one of two ways: Gloat or Goak.  Later that evening she asked for some milk or Muck.  So the older children asked her if she wanted goat milk.  Now we have all the children laughing at her as she asks for Gloat Muck.

Now this falls into the break your heart category.

We were at worship service this past Lord’s Day and little Bella was sitting on my lap.  She pointed at every man that walked through the door.  (We were sitting by the door.)  After worship had started, she looked up at me, pointed at the door, and in a questioning tone said, “Daddy??”

I said, “I’m sorry honey, but daddy isn’t here. Do you miss him?”

She nodded her head yes and replied, “Daddy, bye-bye,” and proceeded to lay her head on my chest, arms wrapped around me.

Heartbreak.

Trusting More

It has been almost an entire week since I last posted here.  It has been a rough emotional week for me.  I have also been feeling a bit ill.  (I just love it when I go to the hospital healthy to pick up a prescription and come home sick.)  This past week (or so) has really been a big struggle for me.  I am often distracted and to be completely honest I know I am not really good company right now.

This morning in worship was a sweet time as it always is but I was very distracted despite my prayers to be focused.  I heard most of the sermon.  I drew my attention back to it over and over again.  I remember listening.  I really only remember one line really sinking in.  I also remember being a little annoyed that God brought it to the forefront of my mind.  After all, I KNEW this.  I already KNEW I was struggling with this.  Did I really need the reminder?  Obviously, I did, I just didn’t really want it.  Even when we know our troubles sometimes it seems easier to try and ignore them that to face them.

The line went something along these lines……

It is easy to trust God when things are going well but when times are hard trusting God can become difficult.

I know this to be true.  I have dealt with this many times.  It is a lesson that always brings about growth but often pain and struggle in the process. Usually in the end though the outcome is better than I ever would have imagined.  And I find myself amazed and a little annoyed at how much I fought it.

I think maybe that is where I am.  Not that I question God or even distrust him.  Sometimes it just takes a little more trust than we are used to investing.  Sometimes it seems easier to focus on our struggles than to surrender them.  It is hard, especially for someone like me who likes to have things under control, to relinquish that control.  Maybe that is a big part of my struggles these past few weeks.  My level of trust in the Lord is being stretched.  I am being called to place more and more trust in him.  I am questioning whether my more of my struggle is with the many circumstances that are bringing bucket loads of stress into my life right now or if it is because I am trying to hold it all together on my own.  Do not get me wrong, I am praying every day and depending on the Lord.  But maybe, just maybe I am trying too hard to hold things together that I am not really receiving the strength, grace, and power from the Lord to really hold things together.  Does that make any sense?

Well, if you have kept with my pathetic ramblings thus far please pray that I would surrender everything to the Lord.  That I would be relying on his strength and not my own.  That I would not play tug of war with God over my stresses, fears, and struggles but that I would let him carry me through.

This will be good for my blog readers too……maybe my posts won’t be such a downer anymore!  )

Cycles of Sadness

Struggling here a little bit.  This is our longest deployment and I am learning new things.  The Lord can really use a time like this to stretch and grow his children.  With my hubby gone I really have no one to count on, except the Lord.  It makes me realize how much I depend on my hubby and how often I bypass the Lord and trust in my hubby instead.  I am forced now more that ever to trust God and to pray.  That is a good thing.  Though the situations that draw us to our knees are not always comfortable.

I have also noticed something about longer deployments.  There are cycles.  I don’t know if this is true for everyone but it is proving to be so around here.  We will be doing just fine and then wham!  We are hit with another wave of sadness, loneliness, grieving, and heavy concern.  The children will be extra cranky and teary eyed.  I will anxious, easily frustrated, feel a deep sense of loneliness and sadness.  I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.  Thankfully, my life does not afford me that much freedom and I am forced to go on.

I am not like this all the time.  In fact, I am not like this most of the time.  It only lasts for a few days to a week and then I am okay and doing rather well.  Thankfully, the children and I are on different cycles too.  So, I am able to comfort them when I am in a good frame of mind.  These cycles tend to come about every 4-6 weeks.

Why is it that no one told me about this?  That I should expect it?  Maybe it is something that is just unique to us but somehow I cannot imagine that to be the case.

Maybe things differ with the amount of support one receives.  I do have a great church family and a few good friends who check in on me.  I often wonder how families with no support and without the Lord handle things.  I think of way back before technology.  How did the families of WWII handle the lack of communication?!  What I endure cannot even compare to that!  I get to be in contact with my hubby a few times a week.

Now before you start thinking I am having a pity party, I AM NOT!  I am not looking to make my situation seem worst than anyone else, though there are circumstances that are unique to my hubby’s position that do have added concerns.  I am not saying poor me, we DID sign up for this.  Serving our country is an honor!

I am simply saying that sometimes this whole, “Hubby is in the war zone” thing is hard!

I am so very thankful for those who are supportive and caring.  I do however get really tired of the “Suck it up and get over it” attitude that is given off by many, many, many a person though. Sadly, that attitude is given off by those who you would think would be the most supportive.

That is all.  There is my struggle and there is my rant.

I pray that today is a better day than yesterday and that the Lord will guide me and give me wisdom in ministering to my children today.  I am thankful that the Lord is a father to the fatherless.  May my children see that during this time of separation and may I be able to help them to see that.  I pray that the Lord continues to work mightily through the ministry of my hubby in Afghanistan and that He would be his shield and protection.