Me, Like Esau???

Genesis 25:29-34
Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom.) Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

This passage of scripture is pretty well known to most Christians. Most Christians that I have spoken to concerning this have had the same kind of thinking. I will admit I have felt the same way. That Esau was basically an idiot to have given up so much for so little. Why on earth would he give up his birthright for a single meal! We see the things written in scripture and think that we would have acted in a much better fashion! Even if we know how it feels to be exhausted and starving we would never have given up so much!

I heard a snippet (about 2 sentences) on the radio today (sorry I cannot remember the program). It really made me think. The Lord slapped me between the eyes once again! I am more like Esau than I would ever like to admit!

Esau gave up the blessing of the Lord for instant gratification! He wanted something and he wanted it then and there. He did not want to wait. Ever felt like that? Never, right? Have you ever gone out and used a credit card to purchase something you wanted because you didn’t really have the money? Have you ever justified turning a want into a need? Have you ever failed to trust in the providence of God for your needs or the blessings of God for your wants and tried to provide for them any way you could? Credit cards make it an easy thing to indulge in instant gratification. What happens next though?

Proverbs 22:11
The rich rules over the poor,
and the borrower is the slave of the lender.

My hubby and I have facilitated several Financial Peace University classes in the past. Lately, we have fallen off of the financially disciplined wagon.  In fact, not only have we fallen off, we didn’t even get up and chase after that wagon right away, we stayed and played in the dirt for a while!  Playing in the dirt can be fun but cleaning up the mess rarely is!

Well, I think the Lord has given us the kick in the pants we needed!  No one wants to be told that they are acting like Esau when he sold his birthright!  Time to remember to be content with what we have, time to remember that fruit of self-control, time to stop indulging in instant gratification, and time to get back on that wagon of financial discipline!  It is time to get rid of the instant gratification attitude that we like Esau have displayed!

Patience, An Exercise in Self-Control

Homeschooling brings many ups and downs.  There are the days that are full of joy because your children seem to really grasp the concepts you are teaching and then there are days when you wonder where the children have placed their brains!  The concepts that seemed so easily grasped the day before have overnight turned into what seems to be a foreign language.  There are days when the children seem to have forgotten things that we have been working on for years!  It is easy to get discouraged, frustrated, and angry.  I have found myself in this situation more times than I would like to admit.

I have often been told that I am a patient person.  I beg to differ with those who say that.  In fact, I think it is one of my weakest areas!  I may indeed be more patient than some but it does not necessarily make me a patient person.  It is something that is a constant battle for me.  I want things done the instant I think of them and I want them done correctly.  I want my children to understand and remember everything the first time I teach it.  I do not want them to not understand.  I do not want to struggle to get the point in a manner they understand, I simply want them to understand.

This sounds a bit unrealistic doesn’t it.  This sadly enough is something I struggle with daily.  Today has been no different.  I have a very grumpy little one who just is being difficult.  I have a kindergartner who just cannot seem to remember that the number ten is written with a one and a zero.  I have an older child who is questioning everything I say.  I want to scream at the top of my lungs, “Don’t question–just do!”,  “Quit grumping!”, and “One and zero, One and zero, how many times do we have to go over this!”.

I had a moment in the midst of this today where I paused, took a deep breath, and heard the Lord whisper, “Self-Control.”

I did not yell at my children.  I dealt with them calmly and kindly.  I once again nicely said, “Remember one and zero side by side make 10.”, “Please don’t argue, I really just need you to help me out with this.”, “Come here, I think you need a hug and a cuddle.”.  Chaos was once again averted!  Peace dwells in the house.

If you had seen this scene you might say I was a patient person.  I was indeed exercising patience however it was more than that.  Remember what I said the Lord taught me today?  Patience does not happen alone.  Self-control plays a bit part.  I had to conscienceless make the decision to be patient.  I had to control my urge to be impatient and too loose my temper.  Thankfully, today, I exercised self-control.  That unfortunately is not always the case.  Exercise is not always easy, it is hard work.  It can be tiring!  However, the more we exercise the easier things become.  The more I choose to exercise self-control in  this area of patience the easier it is to do it again.

Then it occurred to me.   How many times does God exercise self-control and patience toward me?  How many times has the Lord had to say to me, “Remember………”, “Please don’t argue I need you to obey.”,”Come unto me.”?  More times than again I would like to admit!  I am so thankful that I did not receive the angry, “Don’t argue, quit grumping, how  many times do I have to go over this!!” from my Lord.

God truly is a loving Father who shows us how to deal with our own children.  He teaches me to love, to be kind, to be patient, and to exercise self-control.  I need only to be obedient and turn to him when I am weak!

Thank you Lord for using the struggles of my day to grow me more into your likeness.  Help me each day to exercise self-control to be patient.

Having a Failure Kind of Day

There are days when I just feel “off my game.”  Nothing seems to go as I planned.  There are days when I feel like a total failure and wonder if my family might be better off with someone who was better at (insert anything here) than I am.  Then I remind myself, “I am not perfect and I never will be, at least not before the Lord comes!”  This road of sanctification can seem so very long at times.  I want to be there already, who after all doesn’t want to do everything right all the time!  Oh wait, that sounds a bit like impatience, discontentment, and self-reliance!  Shoot, I failed again!

It isn’t that I do not have constant reminders of the things I do right.  I do.  I often have people who tell me.  I have a husband who tells me.  I even have children who tell me.  I see the fruit of my labor in my children.  Yet, I also have constant reminders of my failings.  I have those who seek to tear me down to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings.  I have the occasions when my children remind me they too are fallen sinners (by attitudes and actions) yet saved by grace the same as I am.  I have the Holy Spirit indwelling me as an ever constant reminder of how and how far I fall short.

The thing is…… who do I listen to?  What do I do with what I hear?

Failings sometimes seem to make us loose our focus.  Do you ever forget that it is the Lord who works and begin to think it is all about you?  Well, I will be honest here.  Sometimes I do.  I begin to think, if I just try harder I will do it right today!  A friend recently said when speaking of being a perfect parent, “When my children are asleep in their beds and I remember how I failed, I plan to be the perfect parent tomorrow, then we wake up.”

If I am focused on the Lord.  I will hear and take heart His correction.  I may even grieve that I have failed so greatly. BUT, I will remember that it is He who works all things together.  The work that the Lord does through me is still HIS work.  I will be ever mindful of His love, grace, mercy, and power to overcome.

If I allow  my focus to be moved away from Him, Satan begins to take advantage of the situation.  He tells me that it is all up to me.  That I am indeed the total failure I think myself to be.  He reminds me of how I was not compassionate, how I lost my temper, and every other thing I seemed to mess up.  Only unlike the Holy Spirit there is no offer of grace, no reminder that I am not alone, and no power to overcome!

God will let us know that we have failed.  We all fall short.  Yet he reminds us and comforts us that we are not on our own.  He is working.  He is sanctifying.  He will overcome.  In Christ we are more than conquerors.  It is the process of sanctification and we need repent, submit, seek his guidance, and move forward.

Satan, however, will turn us to focus on ourselves and try to keep us there wallowing for as long as possible.  We will conclude that we are indeed the total failures we were afraid we really were!

Failing and being a total failure are not the same.  Where is your focus when you fail?  It makes all the difference in the world.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

How Great A Love

As I sat cuddling my 2 month old this morning I was again reminded of the great love that the Lord has for each of his children.  Something I have done with each of my children is to sit and sing to them.  I will sing to them and put their name into what ever I am singing.  I have made up many tunes with the names of my children as the lyrics.  I was singing to my sweet new one this morning.  Her belly was full, her diaper was dry, and she was snuggled into my arms.  There is nothing better in my opinion.  I sang to her placing not only her name into the song but her nickname and the words I love you.  I stopped singing for a moment and looked in her eyes and said, “Mommy loves you.”  The biggest grin you could image spread across her face. I waited until the smile was gone and only a look of contentment remained and repeated those words which brought joy to her.  The smile returned.  I did this several times.  It brings so much joy to my heart to know that the knowledge of the love I have for her brought joy to her little being as well.  She is only two months old but she understands that she is greatly loved and it fills her with joy.

What a great lesson God taught me this morning through one so little.  She made me contemplate the love that my Heavenly Father has for me.  Just as I sang to my daughter her name I must remember that the Lord knows me AND knows me by name!  Does that bring me the kind of pure joy that I noticed in my daughter’s eyes?  It should!  Do I realize the magnitude of the joy it brings my Heavenly Father when I am absorbed with joy at the knowledge of his love?  Do you know this great and almost inexplicable love and joy? Do you ever meditate upon it? What is your response to this amazing gift?

Pipe Cleaner Trees

When driving through Canada and Alaska we began to notice a change in the evergreen trees. The harsher winters are evidenced in the trees. They are thinner.

Fruit of Spirit Kindness

The Lord has been dealing with me a lot lately concerning my dependence upon Him. This dependence must be in every area of my life.

When I started blogging a year ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have been hurt, discouraged and forced to look more deeply at who I am. Though most painful, this has stretched me and caused me to grow. But I have also made many friends along the way. They have encouraged me, spurred me on and challenged me which has also caused me to grow.

The Lord is actively at work in my life and I have a peace that passes all understanding. I have been allowed to be a blessing to others and the Lord continues to open new doors of ministry for me in the blogging world. This adds a great responsibility I did not anticipate and is one I constantly feel ill-equipped to fulfill. I am humbled each time I am praised because I know that it is only by the power of the Spirit that anyone is touched.
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