“For you that are parents, or to whom the education of children is comitted, I beseech you mind the duty which lies on you. … For to what purpose do we desire them before we have them, rejoice in them when we have them, value them so highly, sympathize with them so tenderly, grieve for their death so excessively, if in the meantime no care be taken what shall become of them to eternity? … If you neglect to instruct them in the way of holiness, will the devil neglect to instruct them in the way of wickedness? No, no, if you will not teach them to pray, he will teach them to curse, swear and lie. If ground be uncultivated, weeds will spring up.”

~ John Flavel

Do you ever just feel like a total failure? There are rarely days when I feel that all has gone perfectly, in fact, I can’t even remember the last time that happened. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. My calling in this life is to be a wife and a mother. I am to glorify God through those things yet often times I seem to fail miserably! This calling in my opinion is one of the greatest in life because it holds such eternal consequences!

Other people will see accomplishment and evidence of great work in this area of my life but often times I only see my failings. I know how often we skip our family devotionals. I know how often I loose my temper. I know how often I lack compassion. I know how neglected my Bible reading can be. I know how lacking my prayer life can be at times. I know the things that go through my mind and that occupy my thoughts that are not glorifying or edifying. These are things that others do not see.

I truly feel as if I fail more than I succeed! Yet, I look at my family, I look at my children, I listen to the comments and encouragement of others. I see the hand of God at work! When I receive praise I am keenly aware of the fact that any good is not because of me but in spite of me. I work hard, often not hard enough but it is not my work that accomplishes anything praise worthy. It is the Lord’s work. It is only by his hand, grace, mercy, instruction, and power. It is God who deserves the praise!

I am encouraged by these words:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I often pray that God would do amazing things with our family and these children that he has entrusted to us. That he will do a mighty work in their lives. That they would bring honor and praise to his name. That the Lord would be glorified in their lives. That the Lord would grant me the wisdom, dedication, love, and ability to do all that he has called me to in raising these arrows.  I ask that if anyone is ever led to pray for me that these are things that are lifted up before the Lord on my behalf.

I wish for other mothers to be encouraged to not be discouraged in the daunting yet indescribably rewarding task of raising children for the glory of God!  Remember it is not all dependent upon you.  God will accomplish his purposes.  Just keep praying, keep striving, continue in love and obedience.

Let me leave you with this benediction and may you be encouraged just as these words encourage me:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.  Hebrews 13: 20-21

And remember, be a light to your children and God will do the rest.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  Philippians 2:12-13

I am the oldest of eight children. My parents divorced when I was about a year old. My mother had a total of seven children and my father remarried and had another child. My friends from high school would probably tell you that I was never having children after taking care of all of my siblings for so long. My husband comes from a family of four children. His father, however, is the youngest child of nine siblings. My husband and I knew we wanted a large family but that meant five or maybe six. We were scoffed at for even wanting that many. We were young when we married, 21 and 18, and the “acceptable” large family size at the time was 3-4 children. The “acceptable” family size is considered much smaller today.

We married young and our family was started right away, we had “stair-step” children. Within our first five years of marriage we had four children. When our youngest was about 15 months old, my husband sat trying to figure out how to tell me he thought we had enough. As he sat contemplating this, I gave him what I thought was wonderful news. I was expecting our fifth child. His immediate response was, “That’s it, we’re done.” Needless to say, this did not sit well with me. A month before the baby was born my husband had a vasectomy. I tried to convince myself this was a great idea and even signed the papers for the surgery. I seemed pleased on the outside but I was devastated on the inside. I think my husband felt relief.

As time went on I became more and more upset, especially as I watched my baby grow older. The yearning for another child grew. Guilt and regret seeped in. I began to pray, God please forgive us and change my husband’s heart concerning this.”

God began to bring people into our lives that He would use to show us His truth. There were some with many children who did not use birth control and there were others who had undergone reversals and had been blessed with children following the procedure. They shared with us how God had worked and continued to bless them in regards to childbearing. I began researching the subject and came across a few books at a used book site. They were inexpensive and I bought them. One of these books spoke my heart, so much so that I called and talked with the author. What an encouragement she had been to me. In fact, we discovered that years earlier I had actually lived in the same neighborhood where she lived. If only we had known them back then.

I began to share with my husband the things I was learning. These things were not merely the opinions of others. That would not be enough. What did God have to say about the matter? Their basis in writing, I found, came from the scriptures and I studied the scriptures on these things as well. God was moving and at work.

My husband began to say things like, “I counted all of the children, who’s missing?” or “WOW, it would be cool to have so many blessings!” and even “You know, if we had the money I would consider getting a reversal.”

Well, that last statement got me off to a busy start! It didn’t take me long to find reversal doctors listed on the internet. To my surprise there were a lot of people with the same convictions. We were not alone and some doctors even believed this way. We found a doctor who provided the surgery as a ministry. We were amazed! God had provided a doctor and an extremely low cost surgery; all we had to do was pray for the finances. God again provided.

The surgery went well and we were so excited. We had never had a problem conceiving before and I figured within a month I would be pregnant. As each month passed, however, I would became more and more devastated. My husband finally asked me if another child was going to be the only thing that would make me happy. He reminded me of our obedience to repent not only in word but also deed – having actions of confession and repentance that places this physically not just spiritually back in the hand of God (this is not to say that God is not still sovereign, He is). He asked me if I would be content and trust the Lord whether or not He chose to bless us with another child. After all, it was not about having more children (though that was our desire) it was about submission and obedience.

After much prayer and wrestling, God brought me to that place of peace where contentment flowed. My desire was still to have another child but I was resting in the Sovereign Lord. I had come to terms with the fact that we most likely would not have another child. I began to take comfort in the fact that we had surrendered things back into the hands of God, which ultimately was the whole point. Peace and contentment filled my heart when I surrendered this to the Lord.

The very next day after my surrender, I was taking my morning shower and the smell of the soap made me nauseous. Thinking this was only my mind playing tricks on me or maybe even part of grieving; I took what I deemed would be my last pregnancy test. Even though I believed it to be a big waste of time I went to the pregnancy center. I volunteered at the center and the ladies there had traveled this journey with me. When my friend returned from reading the results she had tears in her eyes and whispered, “It’s positive.”

The Lord blesses those who seek and obey Him. He used this waiting period to bring me to a place of closer communion with Him. To a place were I was content with God and not just His blessings in my life. Once content, He blessed me abundantly with the desires of my heart. The Lord desires that we not only seek and obey but for us to also be content in that obedience.

My husband and I were sure that this would be the final child to be brought forth from my womb and we rejoiced in her! God, however, does so much more that we can ever ask or imagine and we have since been blessed with four more children. That makes a total of five reversal babies so far. Nothing is too great for my God. What He will accomplish in a surrendered, obedient, and contented life is extravagant!

We have experienced trials along the way and I know we will continue to, but isn’t that a part of the surrendered life? The blessings far exceed the irritation and even persecution of the critics!

[The Birth of Jesus Christ]
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.
[The Shepherds and the Angels]
And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.
And at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised, he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.
(Luke 2:1-21 ESV)

This past weekend the ladies from the church we attend threw a baby shower for the baby and me.  I have had many a baby shower thrown for me and my newborns but this was by far the biggest blessing of them all.  I love these ladies so much!

Everything was perfect!  There was a cute little safari theme with little monkeys,  a dessert made especially for me with my favorite ingredients, and an amazing group of loving ladies to share conversation with!  These ladies are there to share joys and struggles and to offer encouragement.  There were even the adorable little baby gifts!

BUT…….

What I loved most…..

about the day was that this baby shower was not filled with the typical baby shower games.  Those can be fun but that is really all they are.  My friend who organized the shower suggested something completely different.  Instead of playing the usual baby shower games we had a time of group prayer.  I had several prayer requests that I sent to my friend and she shared them with the ladies who attended.  It was so amazing to have such a godly group of ladies praying over me, my newborn son, and the rest of my family!

They prayed for our little Nathan, that he would grow into a strong, godly, young man.  That he would come to know the Lord at an early age and live a life honoring the Lord.  That he would be healthy.  That God would be preparing a godly wife for him even now.  They prayed for me and for my husband as we teach and train him.  That I would be patient even amidst sleepless nights.  That I would have compassion.  That I would not grow weary and that I would rely upon the Lord in the great task of being a parent.  They prayed the same things for my husband as he leads our household.  They prayed for our family with our upcoming move. They prayed for our other children, for our schooling, and for there to be a good relationship cultivated between our newest son and our oldest who has already moved out.

It was such an unbelievably sweet time of prayer!  I do not ever recall people praying for our family in such a way!  It is an amazing blessing that I will always cherish!

I think of all the gifts that we received that day the time of prayer was by far the most special, most desired, and most needed of them all!

As I thank the Lord for my new son and my entire family, I will be thanking him for the church family he has blessed us with.

Thank you Lord for each of those ladies!  Thank you Lord, that we can come before your throne in prayer!

Thank you ladies of Faith PCA Anchorage!  Thank you for showering us with prayer!!!

There is a great article over at Your Sacred Calling.  It is worth the read and make sure to devote some time to prayer and personal reflection.  May our lives be glorifying to God in all things.

John doesn’t believe in celebrating Christmas, but he enjoys a glass of wine with dinner. His friend, Carl, believes alcohol consumption, even in moderation is wrong, but he has the most beautiful Christmas tree you’ve ever seen.

Jennifer believes in adhering to Old Testament dietary restrictions, but feels the freedom to wear modest pants. Her sister-in-law would never put on a pair or pants, but she thinks Jennifer is being legalistic about not eating pork.

**********

Typically, those who falsely accuse others of legalism have unresolved guilt or sin issues of their own. Some, because of a legalistic or idolatrous past, assume others are walking in the same sin in which they themselves have struggled.

**********

Recently, I received a comment from a reader on another post that hit the nail right on the head. I’ve modified it here to fit the broader problem:

Calling others legalistic based on outward appearance is itself legalistic and hypocritical. Some of those who say that they have left legalism have really just exchanged one form for another and are still judging the spirituality of others based on how they are perceived by the ex-legalist.

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE…

via Your Sacred Calling » Legalism: Yours, Mine, and Ours.

PLEASE COME BACK AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME!

About a year or so ago a dear friend shared a CD with me.  She said that a friend of hers put these CDs together and thought that we would enjoy them.  The children LOVED it so we decided to purchase the rest of the catechism cds and have been enjoying them ever since.

The other day a very well known blogger posted about these very cds.  Challies posted about Songs for Saplings along with other music for children.  Challies wrote:

Songs for Saplings is James and Dana Dirksen from Porland, Oregon. They have recorded four albums, one of which follows an A,B,C format while the other three are questions and answers, much like a catechism. I suppose these albums will largely appeal to younger children. They are quiet and acoustic.

He is correct in his assessment of the cds. They are geared toward younger children. But they are beneficial for the entire family.  The catechism cds do appeal to older children more and more in the second and third cds.  There is a great variety in the style of music on each cd. You can even listen to excerpts on their website.

What I love about them is that the children (and us parents) learn the great truths presented in the Westminster Catechism which is derived directly from scripture. Each question and answer also contains the scripture that teaches the truth. This way your children are not only learning the doctrinal truth but the scriptures that proclaim that truth.

Songs for Saplings is a ministry of the Dirksen family and this is what they state on their website.

We create lively, fun songs that attempt to deliver the deepest of Biblical truth in a format that your children will love to listen to. We want them to understand who God is and what He has done, as well as what He wants your children to do and to be. We hope that you will benefit from these CDs and use them to help teach your children about our God and his great love for us.

With Christmas time approaching, what better gift could you give than the gift of music which teaches and proclaims the greatness of our Lord Jesus Christ?!

I am pleased to announce that I can offer you a 20% discount off of your order when you buy CDs from their website. This includes the “12-pack bulk pack” which a lot of people order for gift-giving. This does however exclude the 24 and 48 CD bulk packs, which are already heavily discounted.

All you need to do is enter the following code as you go through the checkout: mamaarcher
It’s really simple.

Hopefully you will find this really helpful as you order CDs this Christmas!

As you seek to grow your little saplings……

into strong oaks of righteousness…

Songs for Saplings can be a musical and fun tool for you and your family to use and enjoy!

that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
(Isaiah 61:3b)

Visit SONGS FOR SAPLINGS and order your CDs today! Order some for your friends and family too! Don’t forget to enter the discount code for your 20% off!

Please leave a comment and let me know if you plan on making a purchase and what you think of their music and ministry!

Regardless of whether you order, please tweet, email, and share on Facebook so that others can take advantage of the discount offer!

One thing that tends to ruffle my feathers is when other Christians under the guise of offering support blast you with condescension.

Has this ever happened to you?

If you are going to offer support and encouragement to someone. Simply do that. Don’t first proceed to lay out all that you have endured expecting the same situation for that other individual. Don’t proceed to lay out all of the things you have struggled through like it is a list of your qualifications and authority on the issues. THEN say you simply want to be available when all of these horrible things happen to the other. ESPECIALLY, when the other person has not even eluded to the fact that they NEED or want your intervention.

That is not supportive or encouraging; it is condescending!

Simply say, “Hey, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

That would be like me talking to a mom of a few who just had another child and saying something like the following.

“Oh, I know what it is like. You will struggle with this, this, this, that, this other thing, and that. Don’t be surprised if this, this, and this happen too. I don’t want to discourage you at all. But I am a mom of ten so, let me know if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.”

Would this not only be discouraging but also condescending? Doesn’t a statement like that negate the fact that this person is already a mother and experienced the trials of motherhood. Not to mention that just because one struggles with some things doesn’t mean that the other individual will!

Wouldn’t it be better to say, “Congratulations, let me know if you ever need anything. I would love to come by and hold that sweet baby for you or anything else you might need.”?

Let us be careful. When offering support make sure that is what we are actually doing. It should be about helping the other person not about propping up what we believe our expertise it! That is just selfish and arrogant and it will backfire.

It is easy to state what one believes but it is not always so easy when those things are put to the test, or must be put into practice, or when circumstances do not fall into the plans we have for our lives.  It is one thing to say that you believe God to be sovereign but when life doesn’t go the way you think it should it makes one come face to face with that belief.  Do I really believe that God is sovereign and even though I do not see the good can I trust that God knows what is best?

I am going through this once again.  We are preparing for an unwanted move.  If it were up to me, I would NEVER leave Alaska.  Our next assignment (which I am not sharing at this time) is not one that I am looking forward to.  Not only are we going to have to move from my beloved Alaska but we are moving to the one place I DIDN’T want to go!  Not only are we moving but we are moving earlier than anticipated because it is a special assignment.  This messes up all of my plans for late spring and early summer.  It is also a shorter than normal assignment so I have another back to back move to look forward to.  It interferes with graduating children too.  We may not even have time to get our house ready to put on the market and will need to be renting it out.  Long, LONG, distant landlords was not necessarily appealing to us.  Not to mention, we will have no snow!  To top it all off we will be leaving behind our eldest child.  We will be a long way away!

BUT,

I DO believe that God is sovereign!  I know that he has a plan for us and that I do not always see the big picture.  I know that God can tell that I am a little confused and in disagreement with his plans at the moment but I am still trusting.  I am trying to get my children to understand and to trust, all the while struggling with it myself.

This is where the rubber meets the road.  Will I trust even though it doesn’t seem best to me?  OR, Will I fight and fight the whole way?  I really do not have the energy to fight and I have learned along the way that God doesn’t change what is best for me just so I can have what I think might be best.  Not to mention, that if I were honest, I would never want him to anyway.  I simply wish that my ways were his ways.  Isn’t that horrible!!!!  This is where prayer comes in.  I do not even want that kind of thinking and desire in my heart.  I should want HIS ways to be my ways not the other way around!

This is part of the military life that many do not talk about.  Most military families love the moving and the adventure.  OR at least they say they do!  It is fun moving and going new places and seeing new things but I am one who grew up in the same small town and see the benefits of living that way.  It is becoming more and more of a struggle for me to pack up and move.  I am one of those rare or at least seemingly rare military wives that struggles with the “pack it up and move on” kind of lifestyle.  Is it a bad thing that I struggle?  I don’t think so.  Do I wish that I didn’t have this struggle almost every time we move?  Of course.  But God teaches me through each of these moves to trust him more and more for numerous things.  It tests my faith each and every time.  Some times it is easier than other times. Sometimes harder.  This is one of those harder times.

I continue to remind myself of the great God that I serve, of his love not only for me but for my entire family.  I try to rest in who he is!  I remind myself that he is indeed sovereign and I am simply, me.  His wisdom far exceeds my own and I must trust him!  I will trust him!  I even need to trust him to help me to follow him with a cheerful heart even when he leads me where I do not want to go.

I will share more about our new assignment later.  For now, please just pray for me to have a cheerful heart concerning this move.  Momma tends to set the tone for the whole family and most of the children are struggling as well.

God is good.  This assignment will be what is best.  I desire to be open to God’s best for our lives.  I pray my own will, heart, and desires will fall in line and that my trust in my Savior will grow more and more through this journey.

Many will say, “Oh, come on, it is just a move!” …….. Well, for right now, I think it is much more……… It is an opportunity (though one I didn’t ask for) to grow, trust, and hopefully to cheerfully pass the test of the rubber meeting the road!

Here is an old post republished for this weekend.

Today I thought I would share some links to help you and your family celebrate Reformation Day. You can introduce your children to medieval games and skits. Study on a reformer. Watch movies of reformers such as Luther. There are many things you can do to make this a holiday that has purpose and is glorifying to the Lord rather than halloween which glorifies the prince of darkness. Here are some links to check out.

A Night of Reformation from Doorposts

Celebrating Reformation Day

How You Can Celebrate Reformation Day With Family & Friends

Heroes of the Reformation

Questions & Answers About Reformation Day

Reformation Day Word Search

Great Reformation Day Faire Activities

Luther’s 95 Thesis

For more Weblinks visit my friend Valerie.