Words Fitly Spoken

A few weeks ago I took the children to the Anchorage Museum.  It was a fun afternoon.  There were many fascinating things to see and explore.  The children and I all had a good time.  The first floor was lots of fun.  There were so many hands on activities that I thought we would end up spending the entire time there.  We did make it to the second floor which was much more interesting to me.  There were almost full scale Alaskan homes of different kinds and time periods.  Each structure was cut in half so that you could see the inside which contained a full portrayal of what the inside of one of these homes was like.  We spent quite a bit of time there.  Then it was on to the third floor.  This floor had very many interesting things but things that are not as eye catching to a youngster as lets say to someone like me who loves museums.  The littles were beginning to get a bit antsy and I was beginning to get a bit frustrated by the fact that I was having to stay more on top of them than before.

We finished the third floor and got on the elevator to go to the fourth and final (and tiny) floor.  I was a little stressed and wondering if we would make it through the fourth floor before I felt like I was going to loose it.  There was another family with two children in the elevator with us.  As I was about to let out a big sigh to calm my inner stress levels the mother of this family spoke.  She began to praise my children and how well they behaved.  She began to praise me and how well I was handling them all by myself without loosing my cool.  She praised me for the fact that I was even doing this without their dad along that day.  Then she mentioned that she and her hubby could barely do it with their two children.  I simply said thank you as they exited the elevator.

I let out a big sigh and released all that pent up UNNECESSARY stress.

God has done this to me on several occasions to be honest.  When I get to the point of loosing it, He gently reminds me through others that I am focusing on the wrong thing.  I am seeing their being children and shorter attention spans as misbehavior rather than what it is.  I was focusing on my tired feet and lack of energy than the joy of being a mother.  I had to pray and ask forgiveness.  I then praised my children for their good behavior and pointed out how it had made an impression on others.

The Lord used that lady in the museum elevator to discipline me and to encourage me at the same time!  He is good like that!

The fourth floor was so much more enjoyable than it would have been if the Lord had not given me my much needed attitude adjustment.

Proverbs 25:11 comes to mind when I reflect on situations like these.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

The NASB puts it this way.

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.

That is so very true!

Have you ever experienced anything like this?  How has the Lord used others and their timely, fitly spoken words to discipline and encourage you? Leave me a comment to share how the Lord has worked in your life in this manner.

Curly Q’s Special Day

She is finally four! She has been counting down and the day has arrived at last!  We celebrated with friends and siblings at Chucky Cheese.  She was thrilled with her gifts!  She especially likes her big doll.  Happy birthday to our sweet, spunky, curly headed little BIG girl!  We love you!!

Baby Powder Bonanza

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you put a three (almost four) year old, a twenty month old, and a full container of baby powder all together in a tiny one person shower stall completely unsupervised?  Well, me neither!  BUT, I found out!

Apparently, when I thought the children were all downstairs playing nicely, I was correct but missing one vital piece of information.  The older siblings were not actually paying attention to the younger ones as they played.  I think I would have been angry if it hadn’t been such a funny sight!!

Now the three year old didn’t look too bad.  Either it was because she was smarter or maybe just taller, or even maybe because she may have been the instigator(first thing she said was her little sister wanted to play with it–hmmm) but she only had baby powder on her clothing.  The shower stall and the few other items they took with them were completely covered!  The one year old on the other hand, my oh my!

She even had it caked in her eyelashes!!  I carried her up the stairs and down the hall to the bathtub in record time leaving a trail of baby powder behind.  I had to have someone vacuum up the hardwood flooring fast because people were trying not to slip on the baby powder as they traveled in to see the sight.  I think there may even still be baby powder footprints on the carpeted stairs!  All I have been able to smell for two days is baby powder.  I am thankful, there are definitely worse things to smell.

I did manage to get a photo of my one year old.  The photo doesn’t even do the situation justice though because of the level of powder that fell off of her from the carry upstairs and her realizing something was wrong and trying to wipe it off.  BUT to answer the question of what would happen if you put a three (almost four) year old, a twenty month old, and a full container of baby powder all together in a tiny one person shower stall completely unsupervised, I will share the photo.  Don’t you just love the look?  I love the expression even more, it is as if she is asking, “What?????”  LOL!

Backward Parenting

Have you ever noticed that there are parents who excuse away all kinds of sinfulness in their children.  Especially in their young children.  They either think it is cute or say things like, “Boys will be boys.”   It is often easier to let things go or just ignore them when the children are little.  To be honest, sometimes we feel we are just too tired to deal with it.  Even the excuse of exhaustion is not acceptable.

There is a trend today where parents let the little ones get away with way too much and when they turn into unruly teens then tighten the screws and begin to really crack down.  After all, they need it!  The fact is that they needed it when they were young.

We do not have perfect children by any means but we do have pretty well behaved children.  At least most of the time.  We are often approached when we are out in public.  We have had our meals paid for because the families said they were blessed to see a large family walk in and be pleasantly surprised that their meal was not ruined by unruly children.  One time I will never forget was in a Chinese restaurant in Montana somewhere.  An older man approached my husband and complimented him on their behavior.  He then went on to say that his grandchildren were out of control.  They were in their teens and listened to no authority at all and wanted to know our secret.  Here is a man much older than us asking my hubby for parenting advice for his grandchildren.  My husband, as gently as he could said, “Start when they are young.  Discipline them when they are young.”  The man sighed and shook his head knowingly and said, “Yep, your right, your right.”  He then thanked us for reminding him that there are good families out there.  It broke my heart.

It breaks my heart each and every time I hear of people who cannot stand their children or grandchildren.  It often makes me wonder about the parents when I see children so out of control.  Now I do realize that even children with parents who take action when they are young still end up with unruly children.  All children must be held responsible for their own actions.  But we as parents must also do all that we can to train them well.

We must not excuse away a child’s behavior.  There may be a reason for a child acting in a particular way but that does not justify wrong and sinful actions.   If a child is trained well when they are young, holding them accountable, teaching them, sticking to our guns when it is hard, following through even when we are weary, covering them in prayer, love, encouragement  amidst the discipline,  and when needed admitting when we were wrong,  they will grow to be self-controlled and gain wisdom for making right decisions.  We must ingrain in them acceptable behavior when they are young if we expect them to hold on to it when they grow older. Today’s trend of tightening the parenting hold when children get older is actually backwards of what it should be. We should parent them well and consistently when they are young so that when they begin to grow into adulthood we can loosen the reigns rather than tightening them.  We should not have adolescence be just another stage of childhood but we should see it as their introduction to adulthood (with the privileges comes the responsibility also).  Expectations for them should rise not fall.  This does not mean that we totally let go when they are older.  They still need guidance and boundaries.  We should however be to a point where they respect those boundaries, seek the guidance, and can be trusted(not just wishful thinking) to make wise decisions.

It is a lot of work to parent consistently when children are little for what we may deem small infractions but those small infractions if allowed, accepted, and excused will grow with that child and it will be much more difficult to parent when grown.  Do not forget to address the heart and motivation behind the wrong doing as well.  Parenting must deal with the root and not just the action to truly be effective.

Let me encourage you to not loose heart, do not grow weary, continue on.  You, your children, and all those they come in contact with will be blessed by your diligent and faithful work as a parent.  Teach them while they are young and be blessed by them more and more as they grow!

Beautiful Baby….what???

Back and forth, back and forth.  If you have been following along you will know that I have been trying to guess the sex of this little bundle that I am carrying.  My gut instinct has been that we were having a boy.  I have guessed all but one child correctly.  Testing the heart rate has always worked for me.  Even the one I guessed wrong had been confirmed via ultrasound.  Only when I was told the heart rate later did I tell the doc that it could not be what I had been told.  The heart rate actually did win over the original ultrasound.  So I am convinced that for me heart rates can tell you the sex of the baby.

This baby has had me a bit confused.  The heart rate was high, then borderline, then high again.  All over the board.  My gut was saying it was a boy but I just couldn’t believe that it would be so.  After all, we have so many girls and my boys are now 19 and 14.  The odds are against us and the heart rate was not something that had been very consistent.

I went in for my ultrasound last week.  The heart rate was at 138.  I began to get a little excited thinking that just maybe my gut feeling was right after all.  The tech asked if I wanted to know the sex it was all I could do to keep from saying, “Heck yah, why do you think I’m here!?”  But instead, I very politely said, “Yes, I would love to know.”

He scanned over my belly and before he even said a word, I KNEW!  I responded before he could even tell me himself what we were having!  If you know much about pregnancy ultrasounds you will understand this….

There were no three little lines!  There was a turtle  instead!  Yes, indeed, my gut was correct!  We are having a little boy!!!!! Oh boy, A BOY!!  And isn’t he the cutest little guy ever?

Raising Them All The Same

Parenting is always a learning process.  We learn what works and what doesn’t work.  We learn that certain things work better for a certain child than with others.  We learn where we have taken up parenting skills from others, some good and some not so good.  If we are willing to be really honest with ourselves then we learn even more.  We see where we have made mistakes and correct them.  We learn to be careful not to discipline one child more because their actions remind us of our own.  We learn to change and discipline ourselves as well.  I have a dear friend who says that she thinks children are God’s sanctifying work in our lives.  This is very, very true.

I have often heard many parents say that they have raised all of their children the same way.  When one goes astray or takes a path the parent doesn’t like then the parents are baffled claiming they raised them just like the rest.  The fault lies with the child alone.  NOW, it is very true that children do need to be held responsible for their own actions but that does not mean that the parents are not contributors in some form or another.

It seems to me that to raise all of your children the same way has a whiff of arrogance to it.  One must be a perfect parent to think that their way of parenting their first child was the perfect way to continue to do the same with all of them.  Personally, I am glad that I have learned along the way.  I have adjusted my parenting as the years have passed and new children have come into the home.   The Lord has taught me ALOT!  I am thankful that I am willing to be taught and not so secure in my parenting to have closed the door to instruction in that area!

The Lord has taught me much.  He has revealed my many errors.  He has revealed the wrong motivation in many of those errors.  He has revealed to me my sins.  He has grown me not only as a parent but as a person, as a Christian, a teacher, a guide, and much more.  I pray on a regular basis that his grace would cover those errors.

I would never say I have raised all my children the same.  My parenting has changed in so many ways over the years.  I would never even want to say that we have raised them all the same.  That would mean my heart was arrogant, self-absorbed, closed, and unwilling to grow and receive correction.  I am not the perfect parent but I know the perfect parent.  If I am willing to be led, taught, and corrected by the Lord then he will lend his wisdom, his grace, and his strength on this journey of parenthood.  After all, if I am attempting to raise these children for his glory I should probably listen to his direction!