MamaArcher's Blog

Raising Them All The Same

Parenting is always a learning process.  We learn what works and what doesn’t work.  We learn that certain things work better for a certain child than with others.  We learn where we have taken up parenting skills from others, some good and some not so good.  If we are willing to be really honest with ourselves then we learn even more.  We see where we have made mistakes and correct them.  We learn to be careful not to discipline one child more because their actions remind us of our own.  We learn to change and discipline ourselves as well.  I have a dear friend who says that she thinks children are God’s sanctifying work in our lives.  This is very, very true.

I have often heard many parents say that they have raised all of their children the same way.  When one goes astray or takes a path the parent doesn’t like then the parents are baffled claiming they raised them just like the rest.  The fault lies with the child alone.  NOW, it is very true that children do need to be held responsible for their own actions but that does not mean that the parents are not contributors in some form or another.

It seems to me that to raise all of your children the same way has a whiff of arrogance to it.  One must be a perfect parent to think that their way of parenting their first child was the perfect way to continue to do the same with all of them.  Personally, I am glad that I have learned along the way.  I have adjusted my parenting as the years have passed and new children have come into the home.   The Lord has taught me ALOT!  I am thankful that I am willing to be taught and not so secure in my parenting to have closed the door to instruction in that area!

The Lord has taught me much.  He has revealed my many errors.  He has revealed the wrong motivation in many of those errors.  He has revealed to me my sins.  He has grown me not only as a parent but as a person, as a Christian, a teacher, a guide, and much more.  I pray on a regular basis that his grace would cover those errors.

I would never say I have raised all my children the same.  My parenting has changed in so many ways over the years.  I would never even want to say that we have raised them all the same.  That would mean my heart was arrogant, self-absorbed, closed, and unwilling to grow and receive correction.  I am not the perfect parent but I know the perfect parent.  If I am willing to be led, taught, and corrected by the Lord then he will lend his wisdom, his grace, and his strength on this journey of parenthood.  After all, if I am attempting to raise these children for his glory I should probably listen to his direction!