The Last Acceptable Prejudice
A friend shared this article and I thought it was definitely worth the read. It is written by a Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Here are a few excepts.
A funny thing happened to me the other day when my wife and I had, thank God, another baby (a boy). Many of my friends didn’t seem all that happy for me. Sure, they went through the motions of smiles and congratulations. But it was evident that many thought me insane. Why would a young man and his wife ruin their lives with eight children?
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Indeed, the contempt shown to parents of many children is the last acceptable prejudice in our society.
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How strange to live in a world where loving children casts one in infamy. Having a family with many children implies a backwardness and primitivism that is deemed unbecoming in the developed countries of the West. Large families, it is thought, exist only among religious weirdoes or the teeming hovels of the Third World.Rich countries, by contrast, prefer to increase their standard of living rather than the number of the living.
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I am often asked by women dating men how to tell whether they are marriage material. I tell them, “See if he enjoys children.” A man who loves children is playful. He will spend his life joking with his wife because he loves to see her laugh, and will flirt with her because he loves to see her smile.
Take a moment to go and read the entire article then pop back over here and let me know your thoughts. Those with large families, have you felt this prejudice? Those without larger families, have you ever found yourself displaying this type of prejudice? Please, just share with me.
I forgot to put the link! I guess that would be helpful! So, here it is…
The Contempt Shown to Parents of Large Families.
Tags: Family, pro-life, Quiverfull, Shmuley Boteach Posted in pro-life, Quiverfull
June 17th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
This is a very good article. We have not experienced too much criticism from very many people just from family members. Even so we have heard of people that have had comments made to them concerning their family size. I can definitely relate to what he has to say about the attitude the liberal world has on the idea of large families. Blessings, Anna W.
Twitter: cmclaire
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June 17th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
That’s a really interesting article. I don’t have children myself, but I think some people are biased against any family *they* don’t think is right and proper (whether that’s a big family, a small family, a single child family, a single parent family, a family without children). I think that’s such a shame – surely it takes all sorts of families?
Cxx
June 18th, 2010 at 1:22 am
Amazing how judgmental people can be, especially the secular who are so up tight about what they think is the judgmentalism of the believers.
Since Shmuley Boteach is Jewish, I think the world should cut him some slack on the size of his family. Before Hitler started his rein of terror, there were 18 million Jews in the world. When it was over, there were only 12 million. Today there are only 15 million Jews in the world. Sixty-five years later and they’ve only replaced half of the people they lost in the holocaust. With this thought in mind, nobody should judge Jews for having large families. Even if you’re worried about overpopulation, you should cut the Jews some slack on the issue.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:30 am
I think one reason people are so judgmental about large families is that they’ve been brainwashed to think that overpopulation is going to kill us all. I can remember back in the 70′s, we were given scare stories about how the planet was heading towards standing room only. We were all going to die from starvation, disease, lack of water, and maybe even lack of air, as we were overbreeding the capacity of the planet to sustain us.
The only solution, we were told, was to put the brakes on having kids.
Now I know this is just a lot of hysteria, but there are still people who believe it. They may actually think that too many kids will be the doom of us. I believed this in junior high, because that’s what I was taught. Now I know better. But the bad looks large families get may come from people who still think back in the 70′s.
June 18th, 2010 at 6:49 am
I am one of five kids, my husband is one of eight. I have seen the prejudice you describe as a child and as an adult. I think it is a complicated issue. As a child of a large family with a small income I knew many hardships that a large family brings. My husband raised in a large non-Christian family, grew up without love. We were blessed with 2 children,which I have homeschooled since birth. I respect those with large families as a gift from God for those families. But I have found a reverse discrimination from some large homeschool families for not have 4+ children. I agree with Claire, above, prejudice is a shame, God gives to each family differently.
June 19th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
You’re definitely right about the liberals being snotty toward large families. Because, you know, it’s all about the “mother earth” and the resources. Yadda yadda yadda.
But, ironically, I’ve also seen that reverse discrimination that Lisa mentioned. (And that’s not a sneaky way of insulting you, btw – I don’t hear that from you.)
I remember a conversation with a friend of mine, home on furlough, from a very primitive setting in Thailand. She was struggling mightily with their three children in that environment, and the home church was very “QF”. I asked her if she’d been getting pressure from the church and she kind of raised her eyebrows and said, “No… but, clearly, they think we’re not ‘done’ yet.”
Same with us. We have three. My husband had cancer before we were married, and we call our kids our “frozen assets” ;D Sometimes I feel like I have to explain why we “only” have three. But God is in charge of that. It’s the right size for our family.
Grace and peace,
Julie
Twitter: faelih
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June 21st, 2010 at 8:02 am
I think folks tend to forget that ‘quiverfull’ movement doesn’t mean ‘have a bajillion children’. The heart of it is to give control up to God and let HIM decide how many children you will have be it one, two, or twenty. (For the record, I have four.)
In any case, I read the article and all I can say is, ‘YES, YES, and AMEN!’ and I only have four!! I feel anxious sometimes thinking about ‘what if’ God decides to bless us again? My family already thinks we’re crazy which is a load of nonsense considering my father has five (granted I come from a blended family). But still. There are *so, so many* other things we could be worrying about right now…
Thank you for posting this in any case. It was uplifting for me to read.
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Phyllis
Twitter: faelih
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June 21st, 2010 at 8:04 am
**OOPS**… Didn’t really mean for it to connect to my Twitter as a “blog”. :O.