MamaArcher's Blog

Trusting More

It has been almost an entire week since I last posted here.  It has been a rough emotional week for me.  I have also been feeling a bit ill.  (I just love it when I go to the hospital healthy to pick up a prescription and come home sick.)  This past week (or so) has really been a big struggle for me.  I am often distracted and to be completely honest I know I am not really good company right now.

This morning in worship was a sweet time as it always is but I was very distracted despite my prayers to be focused.  I heard most of the sermon.  I drew my attention back to it over and over again.  I remember listening.  I really only remember one line really sinking in.  I also remember being a little annoyed that God brought it to the forefront of my mind.  After all, I KNEW this.  I already KNEW I was struggling with this.  Did I really need the reminder?  Obviously, I did, I just didn’t really want it.  Even when we know our troubles sometimes it seems easier to try and ignore them that to face them.

The line went something along these lines……

It is easy to trust God when things are going well but when times are hard trusting God can become difficult.

I know this to be true.  I have dealt with this many times.  It is a lesson that always brings about growth but often pain and struggle in the process. Usually in the end though the outcome is better than I ever would have imagined.  And I find myself amazed and a little annoyed at how much I fought it.

I think maybe that is where I am.  Not that I question God or even distrust him.  Sometimes it just takes a little more trust than we are used to investing.  Sometimes it seems easier to focus on our struggles than to surrender them.  It is hard, especially for someone like me who likes to have things under control, to relinquish that control.  Maybe that is a big part of my struggles these past few weeks.  My level of trust in the Lord is being stretched.  I am being called to place more and more trust in him.  I am questioning whether my more of my struggle is with the many circumstances that are bringing bucket loads of stress into my life right now or if it is because I am trying to hold it all together on my own.  Do not get me wrong, I am praying every day and depending on the Lord.  But maybe, just maybe I am trying too hard to hold things together that I am not really receiving the strength, grace, and power from the Lord to really hold things together.  Does that make any sense?

Well, if you have kept with my pathetic ramblings thus far please pray that I would surrender everything to the Lord.  That I would be relying on his strength and not my own.  That I would not play tug of war with God over my stresses, fears, and struggles but that I would let him carry me through.

This will be good for my blog readers too……maybe my posts won’t be such a downer anymore!  )