MamaArcher's Blog

The Cyber “church” and Biblical Peacemaking

This is not normally something I do, however, I decided to write a brief post for my wife’s blog ; something I have been considering as a result of the recent and ongoing blogger conflict that seems pervasive on the web. The fundamental question I believe many are trying to find the answer to in this quagmire is how to resolve on-line conflict biblically. How does one apply church discipline in this setting? I submit that you can’t. Why? Because the cyber (or on-line) “church”, while a loose affiliation and fellowship of believers in Christ Jesus, which makes up the Body of Christ, is not a local church with members who willingly place themselves under the leadership and authority of common Elders. Elders who meet the qualifications found in 1Timothy and Titus and who are responsible under the authority and leadership of Christ, the Head of the Church, to shepherd God’s people. Because of this lack of true accountability, abuses under the Banner of Christ and claim of Christian love can and do abound. Having said that, I would warn others in this forum not to set yourself up as a pseudo “elder” or mediator trying to exercise authority and accountability over those who have not invited or agreed upon you being in that position.

Now while formal church discipline (taking the matter to the Elders of the local church for mediation) cannot be exercised within the cyber “church”, those who participate in this forum should make every effort – for the glory of God and the name of Christ – to pursue biblical peacemaking. Let me share the following with you from the Word of God and the teaching ministry of Jim Newheiser (The Institute of Biblical Counseling and Discipleship). Some of this is also out of the book, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande.

1. You cannot completely avoid conflict (Rom. 12:9-21). Conflict is a result of sin: our selfish pride which desires to set ourselves above all else.
2. Peace is sometimes out of your reach. You cannot make peace at the expense of truth and righteousness (Mt. 10:34-38; 18:15f; Jer. 8:11; Acts 20:28; Pr. 23:23; I Co. 5:6-7 15:33; Titus 3:9-11). There are some people with whom it is impossible to make peace (I Co. 7:15). God does not hold you responsible for the sinful failures of others.
3. Conflict is very dangerous. Don’t make things worse through unbiblical methods of handling conflict. Some fight seeking revenge, verbal attacks, gossip, slander, assault, murder, lawsuits (Rom. 12:17-21; Mt. 5:21-22; Pr. 11:9; 12:18; 14:17; 18:8; 29:22; I Co. 6:1-8). Others flee trying through denial seeking to escape.
4. Conflict brings opportunity: to glorify God, to be more like Christ, to serve others, and to bear witness to a watching world (Rom. 8:28-29 12:14, 20; I Co. 10:31).

If at this point you are thinking about everything the “other person” has done, is responsible for and should confess and repent of….you are thinking of the wrong person. As one offending or offended, it is not your responsibility to set the account straight and make the other party “pay”. Remember vengeance belongs to God and our anger does not produce the righteousness of God. Instead, you should be focused on your responsibility to do all that is within your power to pursue peace (Mt. 5:9 Heb. 12:14).

1. Don’t stir up strife (Rom. 16:1; Pr. 6:19; 26:21; 18:21; 10:19; Ti. 3:10; Eph. 4:29; Js. 1:19; 3:1f).
2. Overlook minor offences (Rom. 14:19; I Pet. 4:8; Pr. 10:12; 17:14; 19:11; 29:11,20,22; 25:28; Mt. 5:39-40; I Co. 6:7; Phil. 2:5f).
3. Confess your sins: get the log out of your eye (Mt. 7:1-5; 5:23-24; Pr. 28:13). You must deal with your own sin before you can help others to overcome theirs. Face up to the root of sin in your own heart (Js 4:1-2; Pr. 2:24; Mt. 15:18). Seek forgiveness for whatever fault you may have (even if it is only 10%). Seek forgiveness biblically (Mt. 5:23-24; II Co. 7:10-11) which includes: (a)addressing everyone involved, (b) avoid if, but, maybe, (c) admit specifically, (d) acknowledge the hurt you caused , (e) accept the consequences, (f) alter your behavior, (g) ask for forgiveness.
4. Be ready to forgive others as God has forgiven you (Ps. 86:5; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12-14). This means that forgiveness is not optional for forgiven people (Mt. 6:12; 18:21-35; Jer. 31:34). You must make the promises of forgiveness (from The Peacemaker, Mt. 6:12; I Co. 13:5). I will not think about this incident. I will not bring this incident up and use it against you. I will not talk to others about this incident. I will not allow this incident to stand between us.

Finally, if necessary in this forum, find a neutral party all involved can agree upon who can provide godly counsel and wisdom to mediate for reconciliation so that the name of Christ may be glorified. Bottom line: be humble and do all you can to pursue peace – even if that means you must give up your “right” to restitution so that God is not dishonored in your behavior.

PapaArcher