Holding Back Tears
There have been several things this week that have caused me to try and hold back tears. Many of them are on a related subject, marriage. I am so thankful and so blessed to have the husband that I do. We have been blessed with a wonderful marriage. It is not one without struggles, every marriage takes work. We have a great God and have been blessed abundantly. It almost brings me to tears of joy to think of the abundance of grace, mercy, strength, and blessings the Lord has provided us in our marriage. A cousin of mine recently celebrated 23 years of marriage! In my family that is unbelievable!!! I know some of the struggles they have gone through and know of the amazing working of God in their lives. As I think upon this tears of joy begin to well up inside of me!
However, this week I received news of the pending divorce of some dear, dear friends of ours. You hear of how divorce is just as common in the church; nothing makes that more strikingly evident than to realize that you know those who are going through it. Tears of brokenheartedness for our friends well up inside.
Tears for the state of the church are also building. In the desire to minister to those of divorce, accountability and shame have been removed. Yes, I said shame. We are not to be shaming others but sin should carry shame. Sin is shameful. We are to hold others accountable. This (holding others accountable) should be a part of our ministry to those who are struggling. God desires reconciliation and provides the way and the healing. It is not an easy road but how great and big is God???
In my husband’s line of work, he sees almost on a daily basis marriages falling apart. It makes us more thankful for our own. I have been contemplating this week my many tears. Maybe it is just hormonal (my usual excuse-LOL) but maybe, just maybe, it is as it should be. We should be in a place where we are brokenhearted and mourn over the sinfulness of this world, we should be brokenhearted and mourn when Christians choose the path of the world rather than God’s plan, and we should well up and cry tears of joy for the great, great God we serve and his many mercies toward us.
Tags: Christianity, church, culture, divorce, Family, marraige, marriage Posted in Christianity, Conviction, Encouragement, Family, marriage
May 27th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Bless you Christine for your tender heart…
So often people are being told they need to be “happy”. Wedding vows and children are no longer reasons to repent before God and one another. We have recently had a sad family seperation. They are not christians but much loved and very close family. I too spent many teary days over it.
You have a beautiful tender heart and desire to see things through, God’s way. You are leading by great example!
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May 27th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I’m beginning to wonder if this is one of the most obvious signs of spiritual decay in the church? Hubby and I have been brokenhearted of late as couple after couple after couple within our circle of acquaintances have divorced. It’s an epidemic. Some of our dearest friends… Sigh.
May 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Wr too have seen close friends who were raising their children in the church, and homeschooling recently divorce, and walk away from their faith altogether. It’s heartbreaking, and it makes you realize that it can happen to anyone if you are not purposeful in protecting your marriagae and your family. Satan walks the Earth like a lion, seeking whom he may destroy! I pray it will not be my family! Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
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May 29th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Lord I lift Mama Archer’s friends who are going through a divorce. I pray Lord that you would come to this couple and visit them in visions and dreams. Put a love back in their hearts for one another, replace bitterness with forgiveness and tears for joys. Bring HEALING LORD, Bring HEALING LORD. WE CRY OUT BRING HEALING LORD! In the name of HE is able to do such a thing… Jesus Christ!
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May 29th, 2009 at 6:47 am
As someone who divorced a minister, I can tell you that there was nothing more shameful in my entire life. And everyone at church decided to make sure I knew I should be ashamed, effectively kicking me when I was down. When someone is getting a divorce, the thing to focus on is not whether or not they feel guilty. Trust me, they do, even if they don’t broadcast their guilt all over the place. Divorce is devastating. The thing to focus on is showing them mercy and compassion, knowing that you never know what might happen to put you in their shoes.
I, too, felt somewhat superior to those who divorced. I stayed with my husband through a miserable marriage. Then one day, it all just fell apart past the point of being able to put it back together. Though it is for some people, it wasn’t about happiness for me. I had been unhappy for years, and I didn’t think I could ever be happy again. But did I get a chance to explain it to my Christian friends and church family? Nope! Either they said nothing or launched so quickly into “mentoring” that it cut me off completely. I had never been so broken, but people were more interested in parenting/judging me than helping me. I haven’t been back to that particular church since.
May 29th, 2009 at 8:26 am
It does break your heart when you see christian friends’ marriages fall apart. We have seen a few friends’ marriages end in divorce over the last year. Some of them due to affairs and wives who refuse to take on the Biblical role of being a wife. I too feel SO blessed to have the husband that I have.
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May 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Momma Archer,
I agree with your words and with your heart. It’s a heart-wrending thing to watch people who call themselves followers of Christ be so selfish. Selfishness manifests itself in many ways though, doesn’t it.
What I appreciated tonight was your mention that sin SHOULD carry shame.
There is another issue (from that of divorce)which my husband I are working through with beloved family of mine, and it’s a hard thing to watch – them feeling shamed by our decisions concerning interaction with them (as we believe the Word of God instructs).
That very shame is what can turn us from our sin though and cause us to come running back to the Lord! It’s painful, but it can be a good thing. What hard thing did the Lord God NOT do to bring about repentance in the Israelites time after time after time…
His heart is for repentance and restoration, and for HIS glory. Not on making sure we feel good and are comfortable (especially in a lifestyle of sin).
Your words were an encouragement to me once again, and a confirmation that I can continue to be content in the Lord’s truth, and my husbands wise and careful leading.
Bless you and yours,
Analene
June 1st, 2009 at 4:43 pm
You are spot on. Recently, friends of ours announced their divorce. It shakes you to the core when you hear they are just giving up, even in the face of church discipline. Divorce is easier in their minds. I mourn for their kids most of all. My parents divorced when I was 12. I know their pain.
Jenn
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June 4th, 2009 at 7:48 am
What a beautiful post. The state of marriage in our society is so sad. Before we became Christians my husband practiced divorce law, and he really saw just how much our society is decaying. His clients would often be surprised when he’d counsel them not to get divorced.
Anyway, I once heard of a Christian culture in some part of the world where the couple kisses a crucifix as part of their vows to signify that they are married to the cross first — i.e., they are going into this prepared to carry their crosses, to serve others and not themselves. Evidently divorce is almost unheard of in their culture. Not surprising.
Your blog is always delightful to read. Thanks for another good post!
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