I’m Back, I Think

Maybe you noticed that something strange was going on here. Yesterday, somehow when I went to publish a post every page and blog post was deleted. They are back now and I am so thankful! The Lord answered my prayers and I am so greatful that He answered the way I hoped he would. It looks as if everything is back and running! I didn’t know blogging could induce panic attacks! LOL Just kidding but it was a sad and stressful 24 hours of praying that my blog would be restored!

Pondering Doubt

There are times in our lives when we doubt.  In our world today things are often judged by how they feel.  Everything is relative.  Even within the church there is a growing trend to base things on how we feel.  Do we feel the excitement, the vibrancy, the “feel-goodiness”, the emotional high that we think should accompany being a Christian.  When we base a relationship merely on emotion we are bound to end up in a crisis.  This is true in marriage; really in any relationship including the one we have with the Lord. 

What do we do when we do not “feel” close to God?  When we do not feel like he is active in our lives?  Have you ever felt abandoned by God?  I know I have been there and it makes me doubt.  Then I remind myself that to base my relationship with God on how I feel is pretty selfish, it is only focused on me.  I should be basing my relationship not on how I feel but on who God is! 

Having a husband in the ministry makes things seem even more difficult.  People expect the minister and his family to have the “perfect” Christian life.  We are expected to never struggle.  It is very hard not to be able to share our challenges with others, thankfully I have a God who is greater than any earthly confidant.  I have often struggled with what to write on my blog, I want it to be edifying to others.  I get frustrated and discouraged with myself when I cannot come up with something “profound”.  Then I realize that too is about me!  It is not supposed to be about me!  Then I am once again led to repent. 

I have noticed that when I am weak then Christ shines through.  I have noticed that when my husband is discouraged by a sermon he just preached it is often one in which Christ shines through the most.  God uses us in our weak states so that he is the one who is visible and not us.  It is in our times of weakness though that we doubt.  Again our focus is off.  Often, times of doubt are times in which we have moved our focus from God and the character of who he is to ourselves and our own strengths and feelings. 

There is emotion that comes with being a Christian, we are emotional beings, but being a Christian is not about emotion.  It is about resting in God and trusting in him and the character of who he is regardless of what we are feeling.

As I was pondering this today I ran across an article that echoed my very thoughts.  I want to share a portion with you.

I felt like Jacob when he woke up from his dream and said, “Surely God was in this place and I knew it not.” That really had an impact on me that day. I said, “Wait a minute. God promised that he would be here.” I didn’t feel his presence, and so I thought he wasn’t there. I had become a sensuous Christian, allowing my strength of conviction to be determined by the strength of my feelings. 

I realized that I’ve got to live by the Word of God, not by what I feel. I think that’s how you deal with doubt. You begin to focus on what God says he’s going to do rather than on your feelings. 

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE:  HERE

Cultural Christianity

I am writing today knowing that I am opening a door to ridicule but to be perfectly honest I am a bit distressed. I am so tired of watered-down, cultural, feel-good Christianity! I am tired of so many Christians minimizing the power, authority, and sovereignty of Christ. Many I truly believe do not even know they are doing this. That is the scary thing about cultural Christianity. There are many Christians that truly love the Lord and are committed but they do not realize how much of the culture comes out of them when they speak, share, and live their lives. They also are in no way teachable or even open to the fact that they might resemble the culture. Many denominations pride (yes, pride) themselves on being teachable but that only goes as far as to apply to those things that sound acceptable to them. If it is a challenge to their previous line of thinking then it is condemned as heresy without being given any consideration, prayer, or an opening to the Spirit. Tradition trumps Truth, comfort trumps conviction and the culture prevails. Thus cultural Christianity rules. It is what around our home has become called K-Love theology. Do not get me wrong, I LOVE Christian radio, but there is more to Christianity than a song that encourages and makes you feel good. There is more to Christianity than empathy, sympathy, compassion, and prayer. All of these things are a part of living the Christian life but alone they are not the Christian life. Where is the conviction, repentance, and purging of sin, the accountability, the surrender, submission, and sacrifice?  There must be a balance.  Cultural Christianity feels good most of the time; but a life surrendered to God may not always feel good, may be difficult, may cost us, but brings glory to God and conforms us to His image.

More Reader’s Questions

I am continuing today to answer some of my reader’s questions. These questions today are from two different readers. They are short and simple but also a chance to get to know me a little better,I suppose.

I thought I’d write and ask, I noticed ya’ll had a reversal,was wondering if it was a vasectomy reversal or a tubal reversal? How long was the journey?

To address your questions, we had a vas. reversal. It was done before our 5th child was born and reversed when she was three.  After the reversal it took six months to conceive (long for us).  It was a long three years of prayer. You can read more about our journey here, Our Quiverfull Journey.

I have been reading your blog. I was just wondering how old you are? You look so young in your picture. I read that you have one going to college or getting a job. I was just curious.

I have not had the “you look so young” comment in a while. You have just made my day! I am currently 36. Some tell me that is still young. LOL! Yes, my oldest started college this January, he is 17.

How Great A Love

As I sat cuddling my 2 month old this morning I was again reminded of the great love that the Lord has for each of his children.  Something I have done with each of my children is to sit and sing to them.  I will sing to them and put their name into what ever I am singing.  I have made up many tunes with the names of my children as the lyrics.  I was singing to my sweet new one this morning.  Her belly was full, her diaper was dry, and she was snuggled into my arms.  There is nothing better in my opinion.  I sang to her placing not only her name into the song but her nickname and the words I love you.  I stopped singing for a moment and looked in her eyes and said, “Mommy loves you.”  The biggest grin you could image spread across her face. I waited until the smile was gone and only a look of contentment remained and repeated those words which brought joy to her.  The smile returned.  I did this several times.  It brings so much joy to my heart to know that the knowledge of the love I have for her brought joy to her little being as well.  She is only two months old but she understands that she is greatly loved and it fills her with joy.

What a great lesson God taught me this morning through one so little.  She made me contemplate the love that my Heavenly Father has for me.  Just as I sang to my daughter her name I must remember that the Lord knows me AND knows me by name!  Does that bring me the kind of pure joy that I noticed in my daughter’s eyes?  It should!  Do I realize the magnitude of the joy it brings my Heavenly Father when I am absorbed with joy at the knowledge of his love?  Do you know this great and almost inexplicable love and joy? Do you ever meditate upon it? What is your response to this amazing gift?

A New Look

To complete the move from blogger to wordpress I decided I needed a new look too.  If you read directly from my blog verses a reader then you probably have noticed the background changing a bit.  I have just been playing around until my real one was finished.  I hired Jocelyn from A Pondering Heart Boutique to design me a new look.  Jocelyn is one of the sweetest young ladies you will meet in blogland.  She has a deep love for the Lord and lives a God-honoring life!  I am so pleased with the new design, working with her so she can get it just how I wanted, and am so encouraged by her generous heart.  Half of all the profits she receives from designing goes to support single moms, widows, and the fatherless.  She truly is an amazing young lady!  If you are looking for a new look for your blog consider having Jocelyn design one for you and help those in need too.

What do you think of the new look here?  Let me know then please, please, please go and visit Jocelyn and tell her too!