MamaArcher's Blog

A Quiet Moment

When my husband and I were newlyweds there were things that we just did not understand. We often poked fun at those old couples who wore the same shirts whenever they went out. We have since learned that when you have been married for several years you begin to think alike more than you realize.

There have been several days when I would emerge dressed only to find my hubby already wearing the same t-shirt or the same color shirt! It actually bothers me enough that I go and change. We never plan to wear the same thing, there are just days when it happens. I find it a bit frustrating but mostly humorous.

Just like dressing alike there was another thing we have always tended to notice and say it was never going to happen to us because it is such a sad and horrible thing! Have you seen the older couples in the restaurants who sit and eat their dinner and have no more than two words to say to each other? We all have seen them. Most of us probably, if honest, would say that we feel sorry for them. This is never going to happen to us!

Our older children are at an age where they can babysit the younger children. This has been a great blessing for us. Several months ago my husband and I took the opportunity to go on a date so we could have some time together before my hubby went back to work after almost 6 weeks of leave. It was also a good break because we had some little ones who were not feeling well, who needed care that week and I had been ill also. As we sat in Chili’s Restaurant waiting for our food I began to feel like something horrible had happened. Here I was, out with my husband and we were not talking! Had we turned into a sour, old couple who had nothing left to say to one another?!

At the exact moment I was about to say something, anything, just to keep from admitting that had happened; my husband spoke. His words gave a whole new light and perspective to the situation. He said, “You remember how we used to feel bad for those quiet couples who never talked. Well, you know it is nice to know that it is ok to just sit here and enjoy being with you.”

I had never thought of our silence as being a good thing. I saw it as a sign of something bad on the horizon. I now realize that it is ok to enjoy the quiet company of your spouse as much as the talkative times. It is good just to be with someone who loves you. Especially when you are a bit tired and feeling a little drained. Allowing your spouse to know that it is ok and that you enjoy even their quiet company can be a strong statement of your love for them.

We shared a quiet meal and mentioned all of the younger couples. (NOTE: we are not old..36 and39) We chuckled with each other as we imagined what they were thinking of us as we sat there obviously tired, with sporadic conversation, enjoying a few quiet moments without all of the activity of the children. I will not look at a quiet couple the same way again. I will choose to believe that they are simply enjoying the quiet company of one they love.