A Disclaimer on Conviction
I find it interesting how many in the world cannot or do not deal well with others who have strong convictions contrary to their own. This is especially true in the Christian community. Our culture has seeped in more than many realize. Are we to put a disclaimer saying, “this may not apply to every individual — the Lord calls some to one thing and others to another,” for people to be comfortable and to keep from being hit with the onslaught of accusations of judgmentalism??
Firstly, I think that if we always preface things we disagree with or are not comfortable with by saying, ” the Lord calls some to one thing and others to another,” this really can simply be a cop-out. Where is the conviction in that? There is indeed absolute truth! To say otherwise is to take up the cultural mandate.
Secondly, just because someone shares their beliefs and shares them with passion, zeal, and the conviction that it is truth does not mean that they are being judgmental toward others. To assign that motive to them is just as judgmental in my opinion.
When did it become so wrong to state something with conviction? If offense is taken maybe it is in the reading of what was said or the readers conscience and not in the writing, substance, or motive of the author.
Those who like to tell others they are judgmental because they state things definitively perhaps should evaluate their own reasons for feeling judged. Someone who shares what the Lord has done in their life does so out of obedience, love, and zeal not out of desiring to condemn others. (though I will admit there are exceptions but I would venture to say they are indeed exceptions not the rule)
Why can we not disagree and be okay with the fact that others disagree with us. Why can we not be okay with the fact that others may believe us to be wrong? It is the culture that says you must accept everyone’s beliefs as valid and true. The culture has gone as far as to say it is not even enough to agree to disagree, but we must legitimize the others stance as just as correct and truthful. This is not acceptable to God, He tells us there is only one truth.
Do our lives as Christians all look the same? No, but this does not mean that there is not a correct answer. It simply means that we are all in different places on our journey with the Lord. This is what we must keep in mind.
Our lives look different because we have different personalities and functions (hands verses feet) and because of where we are at in our journey; not because there is one truth for one Christian and a different truth for another. This train of thought is “cultural” Christianity. Our lives should be growing to look more and more alike as we all grow more and more in Christ-likeness. There is only one Christ. There is only one Bride.
If by chance you feel I am being judgmental in this post; I am not. I am simply stating what I have witnessed and even experienced personally. Take it or leave it, agree or disagree, if you are wrestling with it then wrestle with it, I am okay with that. You may think me wrong; I am okay with that. I may think you are wrong. The question is can you be okay with that?
Posted in Christianity, Conservative, Conviction
March 6th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
So true! I want to contribute more to the discussion than just a pat on the back so I’ll have to come back later. In the meantime, thank you Kristine for being brave enough to say this and for taking the time to put it into words.
Well done.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I agree with everything you said in your post. I have found that if one is being critical of homeschooling, headcovering, modesty or being quiverfull it is *that* person that is feeling convicted of one part of their life or another.
In reality you would assume that seeing someone so on-fire for Christ that they show in *every* area of their lives, it would be a good thing and to emulated by others. But society has told us those things are wrong so “Christians” fear it as well.
Blessings,
The O’Dells
http://odellsat.blogspot.com/
March 6th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Exactly. And well said, Kristine.
I believe it is a sign of bowing to the culture we live in, instead of the Word. Anytime someone shares a Biblical conviction, they are prone to others (usually other professing “Christians”) quick to yell “legalism and “judgementalism”, claiming each of us have our “own way” of following the Bible, instead of admitting they aren’t there yet, or haven’t seen that in the Word yet, but will continue to study and grow and obey the Word, as God reveals it’s absolute truths, the same for everyone.
The biggest problem, as I see it, is unteachableness. And of course, reverse judgementalism. Are “they” not also judging the person for having Biblical convictions. It’s the same as we see in the world; yell continually about the intolerance of Christians, and claim to tolerate everything yourself – except Biblical Christianity.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I am often surprised by the amount of hostility other people show towards me when discussing my convictions. I think that in many cases it’s just the person trying to convince themselves that I am wrong because they are walking in disobedience. Sort of like a defense mechanism.
As a Christian I do think we need to be tolerant if we want to be Christ-like, but I also believe evangelism is important. Many people don’t understand that you can spread the Word without judgement and hate and they assume that we are intolerant.
Great post! Thanks for starting this discussion.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Hello Kristine,
I agree with everything you said. Society always has and always will judge people they deem different, beliefs aren’t and exception.
I think you are absolutely correct, the people who judge us for living the way God wants us too are reacting to their conscience speaking to them! In their own heart I bet they are feeling like they are the ones being judged.And they have probably convinced themselves that *we* are the intollerant ones.
I refuse to change or silence my beliefs. I know in my heart I am living the way I should, if people want to judge me for that, well I don’t really care. I won’t change, and chances are they won’t either.
Fortunatly I haven’t had to deal with any comments on my blog (as of yet) But I deal with this in my own life. My mother is very vocal about disagreeinig with mine and my husbands QF convictions also our homeschooling plans.
Thanks for posting this, I am sure this will be filled with supportive comments mixed with a few “not so supportive” comments.
Cheers to you for having the nerve to stand up and say what you believe. Good for you!
I will be back to see how things are going a little later.
-TF@madefromscratch
March 7th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Excellent post! Not judgmental at all.
I read a couple of the QF blogs last night, and I was feeling the same way… I went to sleep last night remembering why we were “asked to step down” from positions at the church we had attended for 5 years and were very much in leadership and helping them to get ministries started, as well as having our older children involved and helping us.
The distinct question posed to me ~by the Pastor(with whom I had worked closely when Matt was on the Board and I was a Worship Leader)~ was, “So, if a man gets a vasectomy, then what do you think about that?”. What a question!! Especially for a man to ask a woman about!!! My reply was, “I think that is none of my business!!!”.
Well, the blogs I read last night, in conjunction with your post on the QF carnival and Robin’s one about the hurtful things Christians do and say…. I was thinking about posting something similar to what you did here.
As for being judgmental: We have known since all that happened at our church that God will use us to set an example by which His Spirit will convict others in their own hearts… but, what??? are we to deny the Word or His Conviction in our own hearts to make them more comfortable??? I think not.
Thanks for this loving post on a controversial topic. Why is it controversial?? Not sure… but my opinion is Culture versus God. You are right… Christianity is many times too seeped into the culture and its mindsets. We need to get a Biblical worldview, not a pop-culture Christian one.
The enemy will steal, kill and destroy all he can… and what a better way to do that than in the name of our own ‘Christian’ beliefs? He has deceived many in and through our own faith!
We must be discerning! ok…. sorry… I’ll continue in my own post!!
Thank you Kristine!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Very true, I am tired of everyone telling me I have to accept what everyone else believes because it is ok for them to believe what they believe, but at the same time it is not alright for me to believe what I believe and it is defenatly not alright for me to tell anyone what I believe and I have to keep my mouth shut and not express what I believe. Too bad this is what I believe accept it or not, it is your choice
March 7th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Can I just say I’m thankful for you ladies?
There are many things I’d be inclined to say but the Spirit constrains me.
I will say though that I shouldn’t be surprised to hear believing the Lord’s word and trusting Him labeled ‘extra-biblical’ in this upside down world.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:00 am
You know, let’s make this real. We are called to be different from the world. By believing in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are set apart for His use. We are to act in a way acceptable to Him; therefore, we will be made fun of, criticized, and possibly excluded from certain groups of people because of our personal convicitons. Unfortunately, this hyper sensitive critical attitude also comes from some so-called “Christian” organizations.
The way I see it, the title “Christian” does not always pertain to God fearing people who read and study their Bible… it has, unfortunately, become loosely used. So, it does not surprise me that several have had strong comments regarding personal convictions and beliefs left on their blogs.
It make me sad when someone comes to a persons blog to “voice their opinion” when maybe they should just write a post about it and leave it there. If a person feel strongly about a particular conviction of another, and they call themselves a Christian, then they should do what the Bible says and keep their mouths closed and pray… it’s through the Holy Spirit where changes are made… not a hostly blogger. Remember, you do not have any obligation to visit anyone’s blog if they don’t agree.
2 Timothy 1:7-8
“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love adn discipline. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God.”
Valerie
March 7th, 2008 at 2:16 am
Thanks for posting this! It is so true. What I have read lately, has been discouraging. Are we not to encourage one another? (I Thess 5:11, Heb 3:13, etc) Thanks for encouraging Kristine!
~Kristen
March 7th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Well. I think that it is what it is and we should expect negative comments. I discovered that even the Mennonites struggle with this issue! I thought there could be at least ONE community that was free from strife over this issue, but I guess it’s just proof that Satan truly does roam the earth looking for those he may devour.
With our first reversal baby, we encountered a lot of pain with some people that we were extremely close to. We saw them (and still do) quite a bit in social situations and they flat out ignored us. It really hurt, but we prayed for them and now they at least speak with us, but it’s obvious they aren’t totally on-board with our decision. It’s going to be really fun if I get pregnant again because I will be 40+ and I’m sure they will have plenty of opinions on that!
I have not always been a QF gal, and my husband took quite a bit of prayer before he became a QF guy. I used to complain about my kids, long more for “me” time than time with my kids. God changed my heart and He can certainly change the hearts of the people around us if we pray, pray, pray, just like we did for our husbands once upon a time. I think our hearts need to be more broken for those who disagree with us than upset. They’re just going through a process like we all did.
Love,
Becca
March 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am
I wanted to recommend a sermon by Voddie Baucham. It can be found here. Download it to listen to it when you have time. It’s actually on child training but the overall point is the conformity of so-called Christianity to the world. In the first 10-20 minutes he addresses how this is seen in the general church populous’ view of marriage, followed by how children are regarded before finally heading into the worldly mindset’s influence on child training. It’s worth it just for the introduction.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:52 am
Great post Mama. I’m struggling with this, not only in relation to the qf issue, but another ‘hot-button’ christian issue as well. I posted about my reasons for a certain conviction and afterwards, almost apologized for my conviction, as though I’m doing something wrong!
You make a great point about our walks with God not being one-size fits all, and they aren’t. God has led each of us to the same qf conviction, but he has led some of us to different convictions in other areas. And that’s okay. If we’re living according to the Word, and striving to honor and obey God, then what’s the problem? But then, prior to us being qf, I can remember being rather defensive when talking with those who were qf. Does the defensiveness stem from insecurity? Ignored conviction in thier own lives? Fear? Or something else? I don’t know…I’m giving myself a headache LOL =)
March 7th, 2008 at 5:06 am
Amen and Amen!!
The catch phrase of the Christian church is “legalism” and it basically finds it’s counterpart in the secular word, “intolerant.” The minute we state something with conviction (regardless of what that may be) we are slapped with one of these labels.
Glad to hear someone state, with conviction, that it should not be this way!
March 7th, 2008 at 5:13 am
Amen, Sister! Now, that’s an awesome word!
March 7th, 2008 at 5:44 am
That was great and very convicting for me. AMEN!
Hugs,
Christy
March 7th, 2008 at 6:47 am
I loved this post! And you are absolutely right. Strangely enough I just had a similar conversation today about not feeling that “to each their own” is always necessarily the right attitude to take throughout life. Sometimes things are just WRONG. And it’s not horrible to stand up and say so if you feel so convicted. (note to self: take your own advice more often!)
It’s difficult to feel secure in speaking up in this day in age with such emphasis on “political correctness”. Kudos to you for addressing this topic
~Keri
March 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
You have a very valid point. It sounds a lot like apologetics to me–are we to “apologize” for our faith and point of view? No!
Like Sandy said above, I also felt hostility towards other qf believers before I came under the conviction. I remember not wanting to be on the Momys digest because of “those” moms on there. Now I am quite humbled by my attitude, and it pains me to remember how I felt in the past. (and I’m *still* not on the Momys digest…now because I don’t have time)
My first thought, when I read the first paragraph, was God calls some to be missionaries in Africa and not others, but He calls ALL of us to share the gospel. In a non-religious example, there are laws in our country that we encounter every day (speed limit for one), and we can choose to obey or not obey…sometimes we aren’t caught, sometimes we are, sometimes we are given grace, other times we are punished, sometimes both…but the law still applies.
If someone questions whether our quiverfull conviction is mandated by a command in the Bible, then they should scour the scriptures for themselves to find the answer. It is not my obligation to defend my point of view nor to preface it with a disclaimer.
I love blogging, and being able to express my POV for a handful of people to read, a place where I feel like I can actually say something that someone will hear. But I usually feel pretty hot when people post on my blog that they disagree with me…lol…I’d much rather they post on their own blog that they disagree with me. Good thing there’s a “delete comment” option for the blog owner.
I’m going to pray about it. If you think I am wrong, I’m going to try to be ok with that. (Will my kids ever learn the skill of debate with their mama as such a bad example? oye)
March 7th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Great post. It is so true – and not just when I agree with the stated viewpoint. Karen
March 7th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I think you are so right! This topic has weighed heavily on my heart for sometime and you expressed it so well! Thanks for the great post!
March 8th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Kristine,
I loved your post and did not think it to be judgmental.
I’ve been thinking along these lines, with a slightly different twist. I’ve met many who say they are glad to find me because we are “like minded”. I assumed that meant we shared a wholehearted love for the Lord….I’m coming to find that many are not willing to simply let others live out THEIR personal convictions – they feel that each conviction must match their own. And so I find that likeminded to some means we must educate the same, parent the same, dress the same, read the same books, eat the same foods….and the whole thing has perplexed me. Those are not essentials to me….I look for a persons HEART and their love of Jesus….anyway – I’ve been thinking about this too. I have STRONG convictions but I don’t have a problem at all being true friends with others who don’t perfectly mirror every one of my convictions. I trust the Holy Spirit enough to work in other’s lives….I wonder why they can’t trust ME to the Holy Spirit. It saddens me when Christians ARE judgemental of each other….not when they have strong convications. I love strong convictions….but I don’t like being told that I must look and act just like every other person in a specific group. I don’t fit boxes well. ::Snort::
Good post – and I continue to ponder this very issue. Thanks for sharing.
March 10th, 2008 at 5:09 am
This was an excellent post, and it encouraged my heart. Thanks for taking time. I think I will post a link to it on my blog.
March 10th, 2008 at 6:32 am
great post! i really enjoyed it!
http://adlynmorrison.blogspot.com/
March 10th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
I have often wondered about this myself. It is a difficult thing to express true conviction in our relativist society. We hate to offend. But, I think we need to keep a balance in mind. Yes, we are to preach the Good News. Yes, we ought to hold firm to our convictions and be ready to express them to others. But, we need to always remember to do so with charity. As you said, folks are at different points in their walk with Christ. It’s important for those farther along to encourage, rebuke, and set a good example, but ultimately, every Christian’s progress is guided by God alone, and we have to trust that He will put conviction into the hearts of His beloved ones. I think that we as Christians can easily become guilty of shaming others into following our convictions, and this is unChristlike. Also, I think that we have to keep in mind that there are certain conventions, practices, and beliefs that simply are never going to be shared by all Christians (take headcoverings and predestination as examples). For centuries, Christians in opposed schools of thought have prayerfully considered such issues and found biblical support for both sides. In these sorts of issues, especially, I think it is important to exhibit charity, giving each other the benefit of the doubt as brothers and sisters in the knowledge that God judges the heart.
Blessings,
Bethany
March 11th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Is this a post in rebuttal to Amy’s quiverful post and her convictions? The dates seem to match up and it seems like it is..
March 11th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Good post! I think a lot of folks get defensive over some people’s convictions because they hear a ring of truth and they don’t particularly care to hear that ring. They don’t want to have to deal with the other person’s conviction because they are simply happy where they are at and don’t want anyone disturbing their presuppositions.
March 11th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Amen! of course when I am “offended” it is usually something I need to look closer at and study in Scripture to be sure, am I truly following Christ or did Satan sneak in and deceive me? No one is immune to deception, our own hearts deceive.
I count as my good friends those who are brave enough to say “you need to look at ___”. Also, it does take time to grow up, and it is messy and could embarrass you or me, so fear of “how it looks” to others is a problem too. We are supposed to grow up, and most growing is not comfortable or even pretty.
btw, if we are not being persecuted for sharing (the gospel, the Word, our testimony, not just our opinion), maybe we are not doing it like it’s modeled in Scripture?
March 13th, 2008 at 12:02 am
I agree! Great Post! I posted something similar at my own blog: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/carolinametzgers/497452/
March 20th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
We live in a big wimpy culture where if you don’t agree with someone else they have to throw a hissy fit and try and bully you into seeing things their way. “Judgementalism” is a prissy little banner behind which the spineless hide while lobbing rocks at those of us who dare stand for something rather then falling for everything fashionable that blows our way.
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I think people who might disagree with the premise of the quiverful movement are saying that it’s no one’s business how many children they have or if they use birth control. They may not see a biblical command to have as many children as possible regardless of the circumstances. The choice to how many children you have and when is intensely personal. And I think there is an attitude among QF people that you’re not as spiritual if you don’t have a large family. I have three children and just discovered I’ve another on the way. I love my children and see them as blessings. But that doesn’t mean I need to have 10 to feel that way about them. And that doesn’t mean I’m not communicating to the culture that hates children that God loves them.
I’m thinking we just a bit of balance here. And a generous dose of love for those who disagree. The body of Christ is a lot bigger I think than many of us realize.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
This has been one of the best articles written about this issue. I came to the conclusion a few years ago that the Bible was written in one way and only one way. It is man that interprets it right or wrong. You said it much better than me though!
I have lost several family and friends because they can’t take my mentioning God in a sentence without feeling judged. I know I used to be legalistic about things but God has changed me. I still am passionate about His Word and will always be. It would be nice however to speak without a muzzle and not have someone think I am judging them.
Visiting from KeriMae’s journal. I will be back for sure!
Mrs. Damian Garcia
April 17th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Thank you Kristine.I feel the same way!Some people behave oddly towards us when we make changes in our lives, but you know what? Sometimes people are in awe when we share our new changes. Just the other day we were able to be in a group of people from various different churches and we were ALL on the same page with wanting to get back to the old fashioned Christian life. Women who keep the home, men who ‘lead’ and not dictate, children who obey and respect. I could go on and on. What we’re finding is that the families of this world DO want something different. They just don’t know what it is yet, but when they do hear it, they say, “Now THAT’S what I want!”
For those who become smug about it, we just need to be kind and move on. God will allow us to cross paths with those who are desiring truth. And when it happens, ‘it will be as a tree of life’ to them.