MamaArcher's Blog

Stages and Phases: Excuses For Sinful Behavior

I have often heard it said; it is just a phase or just a stage, when a child misbehaves. I used these terms a few times when parenting my first child while I was still a teen myself and a baby Christian. Over the years I have grown in my understanding of Scripture and my responsibilities as a parent. God has taught me and is still teaching me through His Word and His own discipline upon my life.
Stages such as the terrible two’s, the trying threes, and being a “teenager”, or phases like “I refuse to eat any vegetables”, simply put; are just excuses for sinful behavior. These stages or phases do have a name but it is not terrible two, teenager, or the like, it is called sin. Children do not “grow out” of it, in fact, they grow more and more into it. Sin only breeds more sin until it has been disciplined.
Parents tend to expect to little from their little ones, but they really do understand. If a child can understand that their wrong behavior is getting them what they want, they learn to do it over and over again. Why do parents think they cannot understand discipline?? This is most likely just another excuse avoid the unpleasantness of disciplining their child.
When it comes to disciplining our children, they should be held to the same Biblical standards as a mature Christian. God’s standard does not change and is not a graduated system based on age. As parents, we must remember our child’s small frame and limitations and not discipline for childish behavior or immaturity and the discipline should be in proportion to the offense. Yet, children, even small ones, need to be held to the high standard.
I have heard some say that children do indeed grow out of these stages, after all their children do in fact eat vegetables now. I would submit to you that in this instance, the parents are looking to the external and not to the heart of the issue. The sin was not that the veggies were not digested, the sin was the stubborn, disobedient and defiant attitude. These are not traits that any parent will want to address in their teenager but will because they were unwilling to address it in their toddler. Children should be taught from scripture, as well, regarding the sin. Disciplining in this way is not always easy and sometimes the path of least resistance seems all too inviting. When this temptation comes remember, if the things that might seem trivial at the time(but are indeed sin) are dealt with, it will keep them from growing into great transgressions later on down the road.
No overwhelming problem started out as overwhelming, it was allowed to grow from very small beginnings.

Verse of Encouragement:
Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.